The Three Bullies: Worry, Self-Doubt and Fear

Worry

 

I used to worry a lot.  Thankfully, none of those imaginings morphed into my life.  Unlike poor Job in the Bible to which all his fretting was visited upon his house and lands and holdings.  What I don’t understand about that story, though, is why his verbally abusive wife was allowed to torment him with her words during this horrible time in his life.  But that is for someone wiser to explain.

 

It seems I have taken my active imagination and siphoned it off for more creative purposes:  writing.  As in this blog, my nonfiction works as well as my novels.

 

I remember from among my readings that we are taught to address the “worst case scenario” with solutions, in order to ease our worries.  You might not like the answers, but it should erase some of the angst.  Like if you were to (God forbid) lose your job, you may have to live with your parents, or in-laws.  Maybe not the best arrangement for both sides, but doable, for a short while.  You could get a minimum wage job and ride your bike to work if need be (hopefully work is close to home!).  Granted, both are not your dream life in action, but each could get you there.

 

Insulate your life by following the sage words found in The Good Book at Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (RSV).”

 

Although I am basically an optimist, I have perfected my outlook.  As we grow and age and gain perspective, I believe we let go of a lot of youth-oriented worry.  Worry, to me, is based on inexperience.  Worry is usually about what we do not yet know.  Like, Can I do that job they just offered me?  We may have been all bravado in the interview process but, now that we have won the fought-for position, our confidence can take a sharp dip.  Once you confront the monster (gain some hands-on knowledge), it usually leaves.  Like finally facing off that bully from the playground or school--or worse yet, the office or home.

Self-Doubt

 

Self-doubt is more insidious as we do it to ourselves, or allow others' beliefs to veto our own.  Self-doubt may remain hidden from us, too, and we all know it is impossible to fight an unknown assailant until we have more information.  This blog addresses self-respect, self-worth, self-awareness.  We must first know who we are, then I think our purpose becomes clear—or we are more confident to follow that innate yearning--and, with it, success follows.

 

I ran across this great quote that highlights my point in the foregoing paragraph.  Here it is from John Mason:  “You were born an original.  Don’t die a copy.”  Don’t follow the mainstream when making decisions about your life.  Instead, construct your life around your dreams.  That includes where you live, what you do to earn a living, who you marry, how you spend your time and your money.  You were meant to be different, unique, to offer the world what no one else can perform, produce or procreate. 

Fear

 

Fear is the worst in my opinion.  If we were to grade, somewhere between one and ten, the level of emotions attached to worry, self-doubt and fear, fear would top out the others.  It carries more dread with it, more weight.  Still, I am a firm believer that our dreams are wrapped in this formless (yet weak) fright element.  Tear through that wrapping, and you not only gain access to, but you also release, the desires of your heart.  WHAT they are, HOW to get them and eventually LIVING THEM.

 

To again quote from the RSV Bible, Ps. 23:6, I’ll close with this wonderful verse and blessing for us all:  “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life . . . .”  

 

All rights reserved.  Copyright 2011 Denise Barker dba Living the Dream Publishing