A US Copy Editor's Perspective: Repetitions

With 80 percent visual recall, I am wired to find repetitions in manuscripts.

Defined

A rep or reps, as I will call them now, can be any duplicated word (no matter what term, other than articles, like the and a; conjunctions, as in and or but; and assorted elemental items). Note that the dialogue tag said is not considered a rep in the usual sense, as I understand our minds gloss over it—although you don't need "he said" or "she said" for every single speaker, if conversation is properly written. But that discussion is for later.

Such reps can be found within one line, sentence, paragraph, scene or novel. Remember this quote?

It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

What a great line, appearing only at the beginning of Pride and Prejudice. Smart. Use it once, it's unique. Twice would be a rep, diluting its rarity, its surprise for the reader.

Reps can be a word (like just appearing fifty times in as many pages) or an overused phrase (e.g., on the other hand, etc.).

So they can take many forms, from one word to a full sentence or more, and don't necessarily need to be located side by side.

In fact reps may appear from book to book. While you may think your readers won't notice that you've replicated your car chase scene or your love scene from your previous novel into your current one, I don't advise doing that. Someone will recognize this and might even feel shortchanged because a new one wasn't written to entertain us with.

Also sentence construction counts for a rep, in my opinion. If you continually start off your sentences with "She..." or an intro phrase, you need to mix things up. I have to watch my propensity for too many stand-alone phrases which begin with And or But, as that too qualifies as a rep.

Even if you strictly follow form as to the variety of rhetorical devices available to us authors, don't incorporate four different kinds in the same paragraph. You have again stripped the power from each. Choose one, integrating the main idea/theme that fits this particular scene of yours, and cut the rest. Also, when using rhetorical devices, your choice of repeating word is critical. Don't waste it. Choose a hard-hitting term with plenty of emotional resonance. Or it will just appear to be the run-of-the-mill rep that it is.

I would go so far as to say that having a well-known line from someone else's novel/movie set forth also in your book is both a rep and a bad idea. Unless you want your reader knocked out of your story, already popping in the Pride & Prejudice DVD, all because you added that line, "A thousand times, yes," in your own tale.

How to Fix

As a copy editor, I either delete the majority of reps or find a suitable replacement word where applicable. For example, instead of walked, there is strolled, sauntered, paced. That takes time.

Cutting is faster. However, the reader will have no idea how many I've already taken out. Even though greatly reduced, those reps left within a book may still seem like too many. It's all relative, isn't it? So beware.

I especially delete instances where the same body language is consistently used: He smiled. (Maybe shows up five times on the same page. Readers will notice and be focused on the wrong thing.) She laughed. (Not good to see this in every other paragraph of a dialogue exchange. Better to use the "she said" tag instead of a repetitious action line.) He ran his hand through his hair. (Need to find more than one mannerism to give to each character. Plus this one is clichéd, and a new one is called for.)

As an Indie author, I find my own reps in my first drafts, when copyediting my work. We all have a set peculiar to each of us. Keep a list of yours and search for them within your MSWord doc and weed them out. Maybe even add your own selection of alternatives to your cheat sheet.

Vary your sentence/paragraph lengths as well as your sentence patterns.

Compare what word starts off each of your chapters and paragraphs. Add variety. Take away the same ol', same ol'.

If you didn't read the Defined part of this post, at least review the last two paragraphs on rhetorical devices and adding in famous lines right before this How to Fix section. They already contain the suggested corrections therein.

We are authors, originators. While I think all people have some imagination, surely we, as creative types, have more. And we can command an even greater word base by consulting Web11 or a thesaurus to find another noun/verb/adjective that fits, without boring our reader with a limited vocabulary.

"If your vocation isn’t a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers."

Denise Barker, Author, Blogger, Copy Editor
Books that Build Character(s)

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What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you give someone a book, you don’t give him just paper, ink, and glue.  You give him the possibility of a whole new life. Christopher Morley
The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life. Dan Zadra

Studying Other Authors

I learn by reading--either a book on writing or a novel by an admired author.  I've written earlier posts about Nora Roberts's (yes, correct form per CMS 7.18) wonderful ability and her special insight into the male mind.  Still, I am rarely able to jolt myself out of her stories long enough to discern her tricks of the trade.  Doesn't stop me from trying with each rereading of her stuff.  I enjoy every trip.

Today, I'm going a different route.  I am comparing two blogs.  One How-To by David Farland who's tips therein I plan to use to dissect an emotion-filled blog by Barbara Conelli. 

Here's the link to each:

1.  Dave Farland's Bringing Your Scene to Life through Action:  http://davidfarland.com/writing_tips/?a=73
2.  Barbara Conelli's blog post re the life of a travel writer: http://barbaraconelliblog.com/2012/04/06/what-is-travel-writers-life-really-like/
3.  Plus the interview of Barbara Conelli on The Displaced Nation:  http://thedisplacednation.com/2012/03/28/an-italian-with-a-passion-how-to-live-the-dolce-vita-with-barbara-conneli/

Without yet beginning Dave's exercise, I feel the lack of to-be verbs helps with the communication of emotions.  Plus, like Nora Roberts has been known to do, careful word choice resonates the "one thing" the author has chosen to highlight. 

In a Nora book about a magician, she used career-appropriate words to describe the surrounding, the man himself, others.  Like magical, mysterious, spellbinding, ethereal, unknown.  She was setting her scene.

As authors, we color our story with the tone of each individual noun, verb, adjective, adverb. 

So if you want to project "bubbly" within your text, then check your Thesaurus for synonyms, antonyms and go to town brainstorming others.  Write "bubbly" in the center of a blank sheet of paper.  Add other related terms for five minutes, no censoring allowed, and fill up all that white space.  Afterward, cross off the rejects.  What is left are substitutions for those bland verbs and nouns you NaNo-wrote in your first draft.

Remember, you can always morph a noun into a verb (ex. brainstorm becomes brainstorming), an adjective into a noun (beautiful becomes beauty), so rearrange the usage.  Play with Webster's.

I'm still mesmerized by Barbara's ability to totally immerse me in her world in a blog spot.  Do you realize she is limited to somewhere between maybe 250 words to possibly 750?  As an novelist, I am awed.  What I hope to accomplish with 50,000+ WC spilled over 200+ pages, Barbara does with about one word for almost every thousand of mine.  Remarkable.

If you read her interview, you'll find out Barbara knows eight languages.  Eight.  Wow.  Maybe that is what makes her such a descriptive word artist.  She sings with her written word.

I want to do that.

Study on, fellow creators, and share with me what you have learned to effectively siphon off those feelings to your readers via black ink on a white background.