Dialogue Punctuation Examples

It boggles my mind the way I see dialogue punctuated in some of my copy editing projects. Since I've never seen dialogue "done wrong" in any of the thousands of published books (trad or Indie) I've ever read (not that I've read every book in existence), still any novel within your home library would be a good place for a confused author to check. Note that this is not about US versus UK punctuation rules (where I understand that UK dialogue has the period outside the single-quote mark as versus our US version has the period within the double-quote mark).

No, I'm talking about where every line of dialogue has more than one thing wrong with it. Like spaces after the opening quote mark and/or before the ending quote mark. Like the tag at the end of the dialogue being an initial capped pronoun: "He said." Other weird stuff, like not ending a sentence with a period or not starting a sentence with an initial-capped word, plus all the incorrect variations on how to handle the dialogue tag when placed in front of the line of dialogue or after or in the middle.

So this post is to set the record straight on how to use a dialogue tag, and then next I'll show how to handle an action tag.

First, let's define those two terms. "Dialogue tag" is "he said," "she said," "he asked," "she asked." You really shouldn't be using anything else (the "he replied" or the "she gushed" usages, especially the "she gushed excitedly" types, are marks of a newbie author. You want to avoid giving that impression). Dialogue tags usually involve commas, as they are part of the same sentence, just sharing that sentence with words in quote marks.

Second, an "action tag" is a stand-alone sentence (meaning, it ends in a period usually) that, like dialogue tags, can come before a line of dialogue or after it or in the middle. As the name explains, you have a character doing something: standing, sneezing, tapping his fingers on the table, throwing the lamp into the wall, etc.

So here goes with the generic examples, all per 16CMS rules:

DIALOGUE TAG FIRST (before the spoken words in quotes):

1. Dan said, "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."
2. He said, "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG LAST (after the spoken words in quotes):

3. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican," Dan said.
4. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican," he said.

DIALOGUE TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES OF DIALOGUE:

5. "I'm hungry," Dan said. "Let's get Mexican."
6. "I'm hungry," he said. "Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE OF DIALOGUE:

7. "I'm hungry," Dan said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
8. "I'm hungry," he said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"

ACTION TAG FIRST:

9. Dan stood up. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."
10. He stood up. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."

ACTION TAG LAST:

11. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican." Dan stood up and pulled his keys from his pocket.
12. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican." He stood up and pulled his keys from his pocket.

ACTION TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO DIALOGUE SENTENCES:

13. "I'm hungry." Dan stood up. "Let's get Mexican."
14. "I'm hungry." He stood up. "Let's get Mexican."

ACTION TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE (this one is the odd duck of the bunch; NOTE: there are no spaces around the M-dashes used here; NOTE ALSO that the usual punctuation within the first closing quote mark is omitted):

15. "I'm hungry"—Dan stood up—"but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
16. "I'm hungry"—he stood up—"but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"

WHEN USING A QUESTION MARK:

DIALOGUE TAG FIRST (before the spoken words in quotes):

17. Dan asked, "Want to get some Mexican food?"
18. He asked, "Want to get some Mexican food?"

DIALOGUE TAG LAST (after the spoken words in quotes):

19. "Want to get some Mexican food?" Dan asked.
20. "Want to get some Mexican food?" he asked.

DIALOGUE TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES OF DIALOGUE:

21. "Are you hungry?" Dan asked. "Let's get Mexican."
22. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE OF DIALOGUE:

23. "I'm hungry," Dan said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
24. "I'm hungry," he said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"

25. "But," Dan said, "what about the house?"

26. "But," he said, "what about the house?"

I'm on a mission to stop this recent wave of butchering dialogue presentations. If you have a sentence that doesn't fall in one of the categories above, please submit it. I'll add it to our examples here. Many thanks!

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Two More Grammar Lessons

Again, these are basics addressed here, yet I see misused too often in print.  So, today's grammar lessons are on (1) double versus single quotes and (2) hyphenated words versus compound words.

Double versus Single Quotes

Double quotes surround any dialogue.  That's the easiest-to-remember rule.  Example:  "I'm going to the grocery store.  Y'all want anything?" she asked. 

Just remember to use them in pairs.  UNLESS you have a multiple-paragraph monologue spoken by a single speaker, then start each paragraph with an opening quote for paragraph one, paragraph two, on to the ending paragraph.  Which is the only paragraph that ends with a closing quote (see CMS 11.36).

Double quotes can also surround text that is not dialogue.  Example:  She didn't consider herself a "real" author because she had not yet sold anything. 

In the above context, the quotations around the word real were used to show emphasis, just as my italicized font of the same word produces its own emphasis.  Whether you use quotes or italics probably depends on what other quotes and italics are nearby, in my opinion.  Keep 'em varied yet concise and clear is my mantra.

Single quotes are ONLY used within double quotes.  Example:  "Do you know what he said to me?" she yelled.  "He said, 'You are no longer pretty to me anymore.' He told me that to my face.  Can you believe it?" she railed, then fell into the chair exhausted. 

That is the ONLY time you use single quotes.  If I can later think of any exception to this rule, I'll let you know.

Hyphenated Words versus Compound Words

A compound word is just that:  two words, equally usable alone, one word here and another word there, but with a third existence as a compound word.  Examples:  paperwork, homework, silverware, stemware, lovemaking. No hyphens are found within these compound words.  They are not compound words if a hyphen rightfully belongs between.

I find a lot of improperly hyphenated words in my reading.  It may boil down to something as simple as not being able to interpret Webster's correctly.  Anyway, that is my assumption here as it can be misleading when you look up any prefix or suffix.  Examples:  pre-, post-, anti-, mid- for prefixes and -ful and -less for suffixes.

Even though "pre-" has its own entry within Webster's, that DOES NOT MEAN all words that start with this prefix must have the hyphen next.  Wrong.  The hyphenated entry highlights the prefix nature of this combination of letters.  The hyphen denotes the need for this prefix to be joined with other words.  The hyphen at the END of this prefix demands that any conjoining of a word must be at the back end.

Just like a suffix such as "-less" and "-ful" only allow for mating with a word at the front end.  You do NOT retain the hyphen.  Examples:  mindless and roomful.

These prefixes and suffices are NOT WORDS.  Not in their standalone hyphenated forms found in Webster's.  These are simply letter groupings awaiting a word to complete them.

I have Webster's uploaded to my laptop so I can see a listing of all words combined with "pre-" that are deemed hyphenless by Webster's.  If a particular word is not on that list, then, yes, it should be written to include the hyphen.

Within its many incarnations, whether online, digital or hardcopy, Webster's uses a raised dot to separate its syllables.  For a TRUE hyphenated usage, there is a longer hyphen shown.  I presume that is to differentiate it from the shorter hyphenlike dividers used within its pronunciation guide falling directly below or behind the syllable view of the word.  To avoid confusion.  Which we should all keep in mind.

As with most English grammar rules, there are exceptions.  In the preceding paragraph, I used the word hyphenlike.  It is not found in Webster's whether I look up "hyphenlike" or "hyphen-like" or under just "-like."  Therefore I have chosen to conjoin the noun with the suffix.  You will note though that Webster's separates any occurrence of three Ls in a row by inserting a hyphen.  Example:  bell-like (per Webster's).  That's a good rule to follow as three Ls in a row makes a red flag pop up in my mind with a misspelling alert.

Believe me, you do not want your readers stopping midsentence to question you on your spelling or grammar.  You do not want confused readers either.  So keep these structural basics in mind especially as we authors create our novels.  However, it is just as useful in the business world or when writing a complaint letter or a love letter, for that matter.

Communication is critical.  How many problems have erupted from a sheer miscommunication?  So let's try to avoid all that and get our thoughts and desires eloquently and succinctly shared with our intended audience.

P.S.  As I end this blog, I am reminded that some people will misinterpret what we are saying, no matter how painstakingly well said, based on their own experiences or mind-set.  We have no control over that.  A man who thinks all women love shopping for clothes in a mall is the victim of a generalization and, while I cannot change that oversimplification, I can choose to not be around him as his personification would irk me to no end.  I hate being lumped into a grouping where I do not belong.  My uniqueness is smothered, suffocated.  For all my commonalities with the female sex, I am an individual and like being seen for my own attributes.

Just like the credo for authors (every reader is not your intended audience), there is a similar axiom for people (everyone will not like you or see you for who you are).  That is why those rare few who see me as I see me are so precious to me.

Seek those in your life.  You will be richly rewarded.