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Thursday, December 10, 2015

Dialogue Punctuation Examples

It boggles my mind the way I see dialogue punctuated in some of my copy editing projects. Since I've never seen dialogue "done wrong" in any of the thousands of published books (trad or Indie) I've ever read (not that I've read every book in existence), still any novel within your home library would be a good place for a confused author to check. Note that this is not about US versus UK punctuation rules (where I understand that UK dialogue has the period outside the single-quote mark as versus our US version has the period within the double-quote mark).

No, I'm talking about where every line of dialogue has more than one thing wrong with it. Like spaces after the opening quote mark and/or before the ending quote mark. Like the tag at the end of the dialogue being an initial capped pronoun: "He said." Other weird stuff, like not ending a sentence with a period or not starting a sentence with an initial-capped word, plus all the incorrect variations on how to handle the dialogue tag when placed in front of the line of dialogue or after or in the middle.

So this post is to set the record straight on how to use a dialogue tag, and then next I'll show how to handle an action tag.

First, let's define those two terms. "Dialogue tag" is "he said," "she said," "he asked," "she asked." You really shouldn't be using anything else (the "he replied" or the "she gushed" usages, especially the "she gushed excitedly" types, are marks of a newbie author. You want to avoid giving that impression). Dialogue tags usually involve commas, as they are part of the same sentence, just sharing that sentence with words in quote marks.

Second, an "action tag" is a stand-alone sentence (meaning, it ends in a period usually) that, like dialogue tags, can come before a line of dialogue or after it or in the middle. As the name explains, you have a character doing something: standing, sneezing, tapping his fingers on the table, throwing the lamp into the wall, etc.

So here goes with the generic examples, all per 16CMS rules:

DIALOGUE TAG FIRST (before the spoken words in quotes):

1. Dan said, "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."
2. He said, "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG LAST (after the spoken words in quotes):

3. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican," Dan said.
4. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican," he said.

DIALOGUE TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES OF DIALOGUE:

5. "I'm hungry," Dan said. "Let's get Mexican."
6. "I'm hungry," he said. "Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE OF DIALOGUE:

7. "I'm hungry," Dan said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
8. "I'm hungry," he said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"

ACTION TAG FIRST:

9. Dan stood up. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."
10. He stood up. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican."

ACTION TAG LAST:

11. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican." Dan stood up and pulled his keys from his pocket.
12. "I'm hungry. Let's get Mexican." He stood up and pulled his keys from his pocket.

ACTION TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO DIALOGUE SENTENCES:

13. "I'm hungry." Dan stood up. "Let's get Mexican."
14. "I'm hungry." He stood up. "Let's get Mexican."

ACTION TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE (this one is the odd duck of the bunch; NOTE: there are no spaces around the M-dashes used here; NOTE ALSO that the usual punctuation within the first closing quote mark is omitted):

15. "I'm hungry"Dan stood up"but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
16. "I'm hungry"he stood up"but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"

WHEN USING A QUESTION MARK:

DIALOGUE TAG FIRST (before the spoken words in quotes):

17. Dan asked, "Want to get some Mexican food?"
18. He asked, "Want to get some Mexican food?"

DIALOGUE TAG LAST (after the spoken words in quotes):

19. "Want to get some Mexican food?" Dan asked.
20. "Want to get some Mexican food?" he asked.

DIALOGUE TAG IN THE MIDDLE OF TWO COMPLETE SENTENCES OF DIALOGUE:

21. "Are you hungry?" Dan asked. "Let's get Mexican."
22. "Are you hungry?" he asked. "Let's get Mexican."

DIALOGUE TAG BREAKING UP ONE COMPLETE SENTENCE OF DIALOGUE:

23. "I'm hungry," Dan said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
24. "I'm hungry," he said, "but my car's in the shop. Can we take yours?"
25. "But," Dan said, "what about the house?"
26. "But," he said, "what about the house?"

I'm on a mission to stop this recent wave of butchering dialogue presentations. If you have a sentence that doesn't fall in one of the categories above, please submit it. I'll add it to our examples here. Many thanks!

#copyeditor+

"If your vocation isn’t a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers."

Denise Barker, Author, Blogger, Copy Editor
Books that Build Character(s)


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