Merry Christmas Wishes to All

I am typing this on Christmas Eve day. If you subscribe to my blog, then you'll see this on Christmas, tomorrow. For all others who won't find it timely, here are a few quotations to help you start your new year:

You are the only person on earth who can use your ability. Zig Ziglar

Everyone can have a luxury life. It's a state of mind. It's not necessarily about having the biggest house. It's about living life to the fullest. Paul Miklas

There’s more to life than increasing its speed and size. Timothy Ferriss

Always…unconditionally…follow your heart. Understand that persistence, hard work, and determination are the keys to success. Barbara Cage, poet

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Unknown

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do. William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925), politician

It only takes one person to change your life—you. Ruth Casey

Wishing peace, love, happiness, hope, success to all.

Denise Barker

Mac Anderson's The Nature of Success Video

After my last terribly sad posting, I needed something uplifting, inspirational. Here it is (3:17 minutes):

http://www.flickspire.com/m/IAAW/NatureOfSuccess?Id=329188

Even if you just let it play while you are typing up a new blog (like I am now), the music alone is great and makes me smile. Enjoy.

Denise Barker, author + blogger +

Freelance Copy Editor, http://bit.ly/freelanceCE

Good Ole Boys, a love story at http://amzn.to/GoodOleBoys

http://bit.ly/BNGoodOleBoys

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/168444 (Good Ole Boys)

http://amzn.to/CopyeditingChecklist

http://amzn.to/WordsRuleTheWorldQuotes

http://amzn.to/BeforeYouIndiePublish

http://amzn.to/QuitYourCurrentDayJob
http://amzn.to/HowToIndiePublish

http://bit.ly/DownSouthaShortStory

Face Your Fears

Face your fears . . . because that is where the devil hid your success.

Denise Barker, author + freelance copy editor + blogger

Good Ole Boys, a love story at http://amzn.to/GoodOleBoys

http://bit.ly/BNGoodOleBoys

http://amzn.to/CopyeditingChecklist

http://amzn.to/WordsRuleTheWorldQuotes

http://amzn.to/BeforeYouIndiePublish

http://amzn.to/QuitYourCurrentDayJob
http://amzn.to/HowToIndiePublish

First, Love Yourself

As an author, I'm stirred to create by myriad things:  the elevated emotions from a movie, an unknown woman in an open jeep, a one-page color ad photo in a magazine.

Today, it is a quotation. 

"The price of hating other human beings is loving oneself less."  Eldridge Cleaver, U.S. civil rights leader, writer (Soul on Ice, 1968).

My main purpose with my blog is to share whatever exhorts my fellow authors.  I've posted before about self-esteem being our fundamental foundation.  The Bible speaks about how we cannot possibly love our neighbor without loving ourselves first.  The Good Book goes on to state that the most important commandment is to love.  That love defeats evil.  That love covers every sin.  I could go on.  But that should be enough examples.

What I took from the above quote is the confirmation that we must love ourselves, value ourselves, treat ourselves well.  This is not about ego, not about selfishness, but about a wholesome acceptance of ourselves as the works of wonder that God made us.  

Yesterday I enjoyed watching again one of my favorite movies, The Replacements.  It is the story of a pro football team on strike for higher wages and a temporary team is called in for the final four games of the season to try to win a position in the Super Bowl.  It's a great flick and full of laugh-out-loud moments.  What struck me last night was how optimistic the coach was, finding the silver lining in any black spot.  Until . . .

The one time the coach was harsh was with his doubting quarterback.  Coach preached a severe sermon to him.  In the end, the quarterback finds his self-esteem.

So should we.  We are children of God.  The Bible says so.  We should remind ourselves of that birthright daily.  

One final thought.  The Bible speaks of anything that is not of faith is sin.

Have faith.

Have faith--in yourself.  It leads to success.

Those "What I Did Over the Summer" School Essays

I always dreaded those first-day-back-at-school assignments to write what I did over the summer.  It was the same.  We spent two weeks visiting both sets of grandparents in Kansas.  It was wonderful and I have great memories.  We also went to the pool to swim at home.  I visited nearby friends within walking distance.  When I got a little older, I babysat.  But all that paled to my schoolmates' tales of spending a month in France or camping in ten different states or sailing along the coast.

I'm all grown up now and when I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, it still gives me pause when asked "What have you been up to?"  I haven't found the cure for cancer; I haven't gone abroad with the Peace Corps; I haven't traveled to Mexico to build a church; I haven't helped rebuild a city ravaged by hurricane or tsunami.  I have donated funds which I hope found its way into each of those endeavors.  However, it just doesn't have the same zing as spending my time there, getting my hands dirty, making unused muscles sore.  And my donations were not one or two digits followed up by six zeros, either.

Writing my books does not reach the lofty goals I mentioned above.  But that's just it.  That's the point here.  When I run into an acquaintance I haven't seen in years, I can tell them "I'm an author, with three e-books on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble, plus I'm working on finalizing my debut novel.  I have eight more fiction books in the works, too."

Just do something a little outside your normal, day-in/day-out, staid, predictable routine.  Like adding miniscule spices and hard-to-see herbs to your food can make a huge difference, add some variety to each and every day.  It could be stopping on the way home and spending just ten minutes picking wild blueberries by the railroad tracks near your home.  Or taking a one-day powder-puff mechanics class that gives you the added skill of being able to change out your car's air filter.  It could be starting a conversation with someone in your yoga class, making a new friend, finding out more about their fascinating life.

Not only does this cause us to grow, both in confidence and in knowledge, but you took action.  Action begets more action like success begets more success.  Every day find one way to add some ingenuity to your schedule.  Drive a different way home.  Really survey your surroundings, searching for treasure not-yet-named.  Check out various parks in your area and see if any have hiking/biking trails.  Take them!

I cannot possibly list all the choices here.  My mind, time and responsibilities hinder me.  But just get your imagination on notice that you want to see things differently, see more choices.  Your life will blossom.

One more thing.  Yes, there will be someone who will cure cancer.  That person's success will be worldwide and affect a lot of people.  However, that does not mean the reasons for you being here, your goals to reach, are not needed either, or by as many people.  This blog is to instill self-esteem which I believe is a foundational building block, if not the foundational building block as self-esteem is just another way to say self-love without the egocentric connotations.  Self-esteem is needed by all.

So don't rank your success against someone else's.  They are all needed on this earth.  And because you help just one does not make your role in the universe less than someone who helps millions.  Like that story of the child throwing one starfish after another back in the water.  Someone pointed out to her how there were so many she couldn't help, so many she did not reach for, trying to discourage her from even doing what little she could.  Her reply?  I'm helping the one I throw back in the ocean.

And what a great concept.  I'm helping ONE.  If everybody helped just a single, solitary, sole individual, the whole world would benefit and be the better for it.  I happen to believe that I am the person I should help first, to better me.  That way I have a growing wealth of wisdom to dip from in order to assist another.  You are doing your part, in no small way, when you help just one.  Keep at it.

Also, please feel free to share your get-out-of-my-rut ideas with the rest of us.

Wealth

What an emotional word.  And that's where I want your focus for a moment.  On nebulous emotions, thoughts.  I read a lot in the self-improvement literature and find confirmation of my own beliefs.  Since I believe everything is created twice--first in the mind, second in the physical world--it would seem that we create wealth the same way.  First in the mind.

So, your initial thought would be to DECIDE to be wealthy, whatever your definition of the word may be.  Whether $10,000 a month or a year, or some figure higher or lower, go for it.  Truly, finally, irrevocably take a stand.  It surprises me the number of people who seem reluctant to choose.  Simply pick one, if both ways seem equal.  You can always go back and select the other if you don't like the results of the first. 

No Godmother of Wealth is going to give you permission to seek after your desires, your goals, your dream life.  You must do so.  It takes some guts, maybe some life experience, to push us to do so.  Maybe someone telling us we cannot possibly do that.  In the absence of your own declaration, let me do it here for you.  I give you permission to have the wonderful life you were created for.

The next step is to PROCLAIM that you are in charge of your life.  After all, you would need to be in order to manifest the perfect life for you, right?  Again, no one else is going to hand it to you.  Even if you marry a monied person, would that individual share the funds with you or would that person support you emotionally, be able to read your mind on what you really want and need?  A soul mate is still a separate entity and to expect one-hundred-percent compatibility is a fantasy ready to be refuted in reality, plus having a yes-man around all the time would be really boring in my opinion.

However, you can do all those things for yourself, without fear of voicing your dreams to a naysayer or faulty communication getting in the way of sharing those needs and wants to another.  You must declare yourself President of your perfect life, Emperor of your empire, Excellency of your enterprise. 

Then once you have comfortably settled into those two standards--with no negativity rebounding from your own internal editor--set about planning actions that lead directly to your dreams.  Do them.  Each day.  Even small tasks lead to great victories.  Keep at it.  Persistence is part of reaching goals. 

Don't discount the little steps on the way to greatness.

Success, What Does It Mean to You?

Success.  It's a many-faceted word.  To paraphrase Webster's, it's wealth, favor or eminence which is favorable, desired.  Or it can be a person who succeeds.

What does success look like for you?  You need to know so that you will recognize it when it appears in your life.

For me, success is not about the money so much as the freedom it brings me.  I am my own boss.  To me, that is my topmost sole definition of success.  Now, I do require a certain level of income to pay my bills, my mortgage, purchase food, etc.  And I look forward to increasing those earnings to have savings, investments, donations.  A cushion.  A mad money fund.

Yet, in the various self-help books I have read over the decades, there was a common thread found in many about how you succeed financially within your own business--not someone else's.  Not that you cannot become wealthy working for others.  You can.  You start early, you save consistently, you live off of seventy percent of your income.  You retire wealthy.  Still, America was founded on the efforts of the entrepreneur.  There are interesting statistics about entrepreneurs even today.  But I digress.

Stop.  Take even thirty minutes to define your version of success.  Maybe you need to brainstorm words to start.  Or you may prefer the visual approach and need to daydream your perfect twenty-four-hour period in order to translate that vision into the verbal or written mode.  Whichever, I believe we would all benefit from knowing our personal success definition.

That would explain why some books or methods don't reach us.  One may focus on making millions when $400,000 would set us up for life for all our wildest dreams.  Another may offer living off the land and funded largely by elbow grease, which would upset our more comfort-oriented people.  It's not that either approach is wrong as it is "wrong for them."

Keep an open mind.  Take half an hour and delve into your rational and emotional markers for your success.  Then watch as they unfold.

Courage Entails Taking Just ONE Step

We have all heard “take it one step at a time” or some variation, like “inch by inch, life’s a cinch.”  Yet I don’t believe that picture is clear enough when you first hike up your foot to enter the unknown, effectively transforming your routine life into your dream life.  For you may see only one step.  One.  That’s it.  You are standing on the only patch of earth and surrounded by air.  Bottomless air.  For those of you who are acrophobic, like I am, it can be terrifying.  Yet, you know what?  My fear of heights is lessening.  Just another proof that we should face those fears and prove them false.

So how do you plan your dream life, set into action all those goal-setting articles and self-help DVDs you’ve read and listened to?  You already know the basic steps to becoming what you know you were born to do—which is anything that lights you up, that has you animated, that you could talk about nonstop, whatever “that” is should be what you do for a career.

For someone wanting to teach at the university level, you know you will need a Master’s degree.  To get that you need a Bachelor’s first, and for that you will probably need to graduate high school (or get a GED or credit through home schooling, etc.).  For that example, I worked backward and found three milestones.  You plan with what you know.  You revise as needed, as you go along.

For me, being an author, I can tell you a little more about that career as I am living it.   I needed to write at least one book.  I needed to sell some of them.  But the overall reality is the same.  You ask yourself, What should I do now?  What one step would get me nearer to living my ultimate career? 

If you step out in faith, taking the one and only forward-moving action that you see at that nanosecond, I believe another step will be revealed to you.  I love that quote that says, paraphrased here, the teacher/mentor appears when the student is ready.  Meaning you made the decision.  You WILL go after that dream career.  Or the quote that reminds us that the Universe will supply us with all manner of goodies once our foot lands in the unknown.  I trust in a God that rewards people who follow their heart's desire, make a decision and forge ahead to make a better world one person at a time, starting with themselves.

So step out there.  It is not so scary after all.  And the benefits . . . well, they will have you smiling.  All day long.