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Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label happiness. Show all posts

Monday, December 24, 2012

Merry Christmas Wishes to All

I am typing this on Christmas Eve day. If you subscribe to my blog, then you'll see this on Christmas, tomorrow. For all others who won't find it timely, here are a few quotations to help you start your new year:

You are the only person on earth who can use your ability. Zig Ziglar

Everyone can have a luxury life. It's a state of mind. It's not necessarily about having the biggest house. It's about living life to the fullest. Paul Miklas

There’s more to life than increasing its speed and size. Timothy Ferriss

Always…unconditionally…follow your heart. Understand that persistence, hard work, and determination are the keys to success. Barbara Cage, poet

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things. Unknown

The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do. William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925), politician
It only takes one person to change your life—you. Ruth Casey

Wishing peace, love, happiness, hope, success to all.

Denise Barker

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Every Day That I Work for Myself, I Am Rich

I wrote about this before. One post I found is here http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/09/i-am-so-blessed.html although I thought I had been much more poetic than that. Maybe there is another post where I was (ha!).

But early this morning I read Barbara Conelli's "Today, I'm Rich" here: http://barbaraconelliblog.com/2012/11/27/travel-writers-diary-today-im-rich/ and she wrote it all so beautifully, said everything I wished I had said, and I so want you all to embrace this happy freedom, that I have to share her words.

Oh, here is another one of mine to check out at http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/02/like-you-are-on-vacation.html. Still not as perfect and as succinct and as rhythmic as Barbara's, though.

Not that we all have to be freelancers and authors, like Barbara and me. But we all should be ecstatic about the work we do, day after day, hour by hour, second to second.

If you are already there, you are truly blessed, wealthy and happy.

I wish that for everyone.

Can you imagine our world if every single person on the planet was enthused about their work? Think how that would spill over into their home life, their dealings with strangers, their outlook on life in general, their hopes, their dreams, their goals.

I look forward to seeing that world in my lifetime.

Denise Barker, author + blogger + copy editor

Monday, September 3, 2012

AdvantEdge Newsletter: Your Ultimate Birthright - Happiness by Brian Tracy

This is a great post by Brian Tracy on today's AdvantEdge Newsletter, from the Nightingale-Conant Corporation. Here's the link:

http://www.nightingale.com/Newsletters/532.aspx?promo=INLA532N#continue

I saved it in Word so I could highlight all the best parts. My copy is now a four-color mosaic.

This article confirms what I believe and what the Bible also sets forth when it commands everyone to love your neighbor as yourself--meaning to love self first, then you can give love to others, for you now have some to give. That means selfishness is a good thing when rightly used.

Enjoy!

Denise Barker, author + blogger + copy editor

Friday, July 20, 2012

Happiness

Happiness. We all seek it. It is written into our Declaration of Independence. And my heart just melts--no matter how often I watch the movie--when Hub asks Walter in the cornfield if he is happy (Secondhand Lions, 2003).

I started reading a great article just this week about happiness and the writer had me with his premise in the opening paragraph.  Then I was interrupted, otherwise distracted, and have yet to finish it. (Note to self:  find, read in full.)

But the gist of it was this: Better to focus on what we find interesting.

I agree.

Foremost because it personalizes the term. Thereafter because happiness is ephemeral and ethereal. Undefined as to our ever-changing particulars.

As authors and as individuals with goals to attain, we need to use concrete nouns. "Car" will not place in your reader's mind or your own garage either Mooch's yellow Corvette or Stephanie's repoed red Miata from One for the Money.

Be clear.

An abstract like "happiness" you cannot hold in your hand. But "read fifty classics this year" is not only a time limit (encouraged in goal setting), but also contains the measurable element, which is the indicator of success. You either hit the mark of fifty or you didn't.  Kinda harsh, for I believe reading forty-nine would still count. For that matter, reading one classic is always a good step forward.

I love this comment made by someone long ago that goes something like this: "Don't ask for more money. Here's a nickel. Done. You have more money."  Sometimes the example of what you do not want is more effective than an sampling of how to get what you seek. Odd how that works.

Remember also happiness's mutability. Today it might entail "money for all my bills." Tomorrow it might be "want an aspirin and want it now!" Another week, "I want to be married," followed later by "I want a divorce." See?  Changes.

As we grow and evolve, so do our likes, our hobbies, how we spend our time. So should our happiness factor.

And I heartily believe we should all seek more happiness in our lives. It is one of our inalienable rights.

Start exercising yours this instant.

~ ~ ~ ~

If you enjoyed this post, you may find these to your liking, too:

Further inspiration for all who have dreams to live:

  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/intrinsic-value.html 
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/06/new-favorite-career-quote.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/07/notes-from-universe-movie.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/07/those-what-i-did-over-summer-school.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/07/wealth.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/07/define-who-you-are.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/07/success-what-does-it-mean-to-you.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/06/three-bullies-worry-self-doubt-and-fear.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2011/05/at-heart-of-it-all.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/02/like-you-are-on-vacation.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/03/authors-need-some-inspiration.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/03/take-job-that-fills-your-heart-not-your.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/03/first-love-yourself.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/04/so-dont-quit-today.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/04/you-are-your-greatest-asset.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/04/two-life-altering-quotations.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/05/face-your-fears.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/05/neil-gaiman-commencement-speech.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/07/great-two-and-half-minute-video-re.html
  • http://livingthedreampublishing.blogspot.com/2012/07/life-is-short-live-it-full-out.html

Denise Barker, author + blogger +
Freelance Copy Editor, http://bit.ly/freelanceCE
Good Ole Boys, a love story at http://amzn.to/GoodOleBoys
http://bit.ly/DownSouthaShortStory

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Take the Job that Fills Your Heart--Not Your Wallet

I don't have all the answers, but I do have some, along with many questions that should pique your brain, rouse your curiosity.

I'm an entrepreneur at heart. As an author, I'm All-Indie. I'm one-hundred-percent Indie. But each of us needs to choose our own way. We cannot follow another as our individual paths will differ. However, each success inspires us, spurs us on, encourages us.

One of my wisest precautions to high school and college graduates would be to seriously consider your first job. It is that initial step into your future--highly important on its own--but could also entrap you. I was making good money as a legal assistant. The term is "golden handcuffs" because it is hard to leave a high salary. More difficult for some than others.

But that job was not feeding my soul.

My second career fulfills my heart. That is where my happiness lies. Being an author. Self-employed. Entrepreneur. Creative. Another arm of that is my freelance copyediting work. What could be better? I get paid to read and improve another author's work using my somewhat photographic memory, my knowledge of English grammar and spelling, plus my love of the written word.

Remember Newton's First Law of Motion? A body at rest will remain at rest unless an outside force acts on it, and a body in motion ("inertia") at a constant velocity will remain in motion in a straight line unless acted upon by an outside force.

Based on Newton's findings, one person can remain at rest or that one person can be in constant motion. One.

In order to change that state, "one" needs to be "acted upon by an outside force." A second. Whether person or thing.

What if there is no "second" to knock you into your purpose or to knock you out of the wrong purpose for you?

Watch out for your first job. It could set you up for life in the wrong place. Do some research. If you hate being on the phone and that is what the job is about, then you will be one miserable soul. If it is a rare position, there would be not only the intense competition to get hired, but then no place to go, right? No advancement opps.

You spend so much time at work and, no, it is not forty hours a week. That is some huge misnomer. There is the commute. For me, it was three hours daily at the worst. One-and-a-half hours at the best. Then the "lost" hour for lunch--you don't get paid for it and you can't exactly earn other money at this time.  So we are up to forty-eight hours (or more) a week.

Calculate your salary based on forty-eight hours a week to get a truer picture of what you are earning an hour. And we aren't even going to look at after-tax earnings.

I haven't begun to count overtime hours, or the time getting ready for work, including dry cleaned suit and tie for you guys and heels and hose for us gals, after the showering and shaving and blow-drying hair. Another hour a day. Fifty-three hours a week is the tally now.

Then the associated time involved in having such jobs: dropping off and picking up dry cleaning, buying new hose because the others have runs, putting gas in the car, self-study in connection with your job and what about dropping the kiddos off at school or day care?

There are added costs: the aforementioned childcare services or a maid or a cook or service that provides premade dinners, etc.  Not to mention the added exposure to buy your lunch instead of brown-bag-it, or for those coffee drinks every time you pass a kiosk.

My life has so simplified the moment I quit working for others and began working for myself.

No more buying a tank of gas every four days.  Now is it more like every three to four months.  Even during those times when I need a day job to make ends meets, I still only fill up my tank once every thirty-four days because I find local work, no more than five miles from my home.

No more oil changes every quarter.  Now it is every three years.

No more pantyhose. Hallelujah! I wear comfy clothing.

No more 9-to-5. I work everyday--weekends and holidays--because I am having so much fun. But I get to do it at my choosing, whether 6:00 a.m. to noon, or 2:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. or 6:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m.

No more three-hour commutes in the dark. I walk eighteen steps to my home office.

No more evil alarm clocks. I wake to the sunlight pouring into my bedroom, or a paw of a hungry cat on my cheek.

This works for me. Seek out what works for you. Happiness trumps more money.

Every time.

Don't have regrets while you are retired, reviewing your life, judging how you spent your time.

Don't die wondering.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Writing and Dating Should Be All This and More

First, it is all about effective communication.

Second, it should be based on the internal guidance system within us, not our outward beauty, money, position in life, career, clothes, car, etc.

Third, we should be having fun--without intentionally hurting someone else--while engaged in both.

Communication.  We communicate with so much more than our words.  Our accent can tell where we were born perhaps.  Our clothes tell whether we are the staid, serious type or more flamboyant.  Whether we are blue collar or white collar--Duh!  Our body language may contradict our words.  Our actions may contradict our words.  Yet both opposing factors tell their own story.  We haven't even gotten into the underlying implications surrounding wordplay, tone, pitch, overall delivery.

Successful writing depends on the author effectively communicating with the reader.  Successful dating depending on the parties effectively communicating with each other.

Values.  As for the outward versus inward qualities that we all possess, the rules we live by (the internal compass) can cause so many divorces from marriages based on good looks, or money, or whatever gets ranked in magazines (the external container and circumstances).  Like the man who thinks it is okay to cheat on his wife, yet hides it from her.  If it were truly alright with wifey, why not be upfront?  Even if I were married to the Most Beautiful Person of 2011 or the Sexiest Person Alive, it would be over the nanosecond after I heard of any adultery.

These attitudes deliver a punch within our writing too.  Instead of finding that audience based on age or income, find them based on mutual mores.  Fidelity, honesty, hard-working, loving, sharing.  Or if you write about the world of drugs and human trafficking, obviously justice, the law, maybe even revenge are the shared values.  Work them to find the audience craving these stories.

Joy.  And finally, yes, we should all be having more fun (but not at the expense of others).  Our days should be filled with more joy.

So don't be so hard and critical of yourself and your writing.  I am a FLYLady subscriber (see www.FLYLady.net and sign up for her daily digest of inspirational messages and instructions) which is a free website devoted deep down to self-confidence, self-respect.  It also will help you get your house clean and organized in baby steps.  One thing she advocates is to work in fifteen-minute spurts:  kitchen, bathroom, office, for example.  The final fifteen minutes is for you.  What a great idea!

If you are of the puritan work ethic I was raised in, the thought But I can't play until the work is done still shouts at me in my brain.  It is getting weaker though, and I'm learning to ignore it more.  After all, with my workaholic tendencies and drive to accomplish and succeed, there is always more work to be done.  However, I take time to play more now.  My career change allowed that in grand part.  My new attitude encourages it in a smaller fashion.  Together:  I definitely have more joy and happiness in my days.

So should you.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

The Intrinsic Value

Here's a short composition of mine from January 2009 which could not find a publishing home.  Enjoy!


* * *
I canceled cable to save money and yet gained TIME.

I exchanged one career to begin another, willingly giving up more than two-thirds of my highest earnings, and gained HAPPINESS.

I surround myself with happy motivated people that I want to be like in one or more ways and gained INSPIRATION.

I work at home, saving twelve to fifteen hours of weekly commute time, and gained MORE WORKABLE (hence payable) HOURS.

I freelance and gained FREEDOM.

I wake to a fuzzy paw of a hungry cat on my nose or cheek instead of a harsh buzzing interruption and gained PURE JOY.

I work outside, weather permitting, which gives me PLEASURE.

I rarely need to drive, which allows me to GO GREEN!

I joined writing groups and gained CONFIDENCE.

I read and gained both ENJOYMENT and KNOWLEDGE.

I act, ignoring any perceived fears or notions of failure, and gained COURAGE.

I ask and gained ANSWERS.

I pray and gained WISDOM.

I am thankful for everything in my life and gained AWE.

I learn daily and gained HUMILITY.

I have made it completely through trials, tests and tribulations and gained the SECURITY of knowing I could endure to the end again.

I have dared the devil and WON.

I am successful and SMILE.

I am living my dream and LAUGH.

I am blessed and SHARE.

I risk and have thus LIVED.


Denise Barker ©January 2009 -  All Rights Reserved.