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Sunday, December 11, 2011

Repeat This Out Loud: "I Am in Charge"

It is both fearful and amazing when we realize this.  Our lives are shaped by our actions.  What we did yesterday or yesteryear is now embodied in our present.  Look around the room you are in.  If you didn't dust over the last week or month, it shows, doesn't it?  If you didn't produce daily or weekly at the office, then your in-box is probably overflowing, right?  Well, that applies to our thoughts as well.

So if you thought, I don't have time to exercise today, and repeated that thought and inaction over the last year, what are your results?  A weight gain?  Failing health?  There is a cause-and-effect law at work here.  We best honor it and take note.

For the most part, we need to see that causal link ourselves.  Why is it some people see us better than we do?  Shouldn't we ultimately know our own selves better?  You would think.  Now, on the reverse side, there are people who see us as worse than we really are.  Just be able to see the difference.  Respect the former, disregard the latter.  But to acknowledge a flaw within ourselves is the first step to changing it.  We all need such a spiritual awakening.  I would prefer that internal insight over an external intervention--ha!

There is a freeing feeling to being in charge.  I know that I much prefer working for myself than to be in the corporate environment.  I am the boss.  I am in charge.  It is that satiating, driving emotion that lends itself to much efficient production in my career.  We can also funnel it into our daily chores, our self-improvement program, our relationships.  Once we see we are indeed in charge, we escape the victim mentality.  I've always been preset to the survivor mentality so I escape the alternate mind-set.

Although we can definitely lapse into thinking that the government is in charge, that our bosses are in charge, that our spouses are in charge.  To the first, I remind myself that "we the people" are in charge and we give voice to that with our votes and letters to Congress.  For the second, if you are truly in a job that is worthy of you, I would think your opinion would be given great weight and full consideration by whoever is deemed in charge.  If not, move on, taking your many talents with you.

As for the third, any relationship should be a mutual one, albeit friends or spouses.  There should be give and take, should be an exchange of ideas and communication, should be an openness to new ideas and thoughts, as long as the foundational morals are not violated.  I don't so much think of marriage as a 50-50 proposition, but more like a 110-110 partnership spending that nets a 150-150 partnership reward.

In other words, I try to be my best for the people I live with.  I don't treat strangers better than the individuals I share every day with.  I am also free to be fully myself.  To give 110% to a marriage that would ultimately, through synergy, net me 150%.  That is my theory.  That is my opinion.  That is my outlook.  That is my goal.

Wishing you the best of careers and relationships as we come to the end of 2011 and embark on 2012.


  1. I would add to that, even if circumstances force you to be in a position where someone has a degree of perceived(from their perspective) power over you, Such as an unpleasant job that you need to pay the bills and all that.

    You are still in charge of YOURSELF. No boss, no PERSON can take that away from you. You can only give it away.

    It's not always easy to remember that, but no one should ever forget it. Some of the worst messes always come from "I don't have a choice" mantra, almost as many as from the "It's not my problem" one.

    Ultimately, the consequences for staying strong and true to yourself are easier and more pleasant to deal with then giving up your own power of choice.

  2. So true. A couple quotes come to mind, the one from Victor Frankl about all being taken from us but we still have the ability to choose our response and the one from Eleanor Roosevelt that goes “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Thanks for sharing those extra thoughts.