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Monday, June 25, 2012

GCB Quotes from Episode Nine, “Adam and Eve’s Rib”

The cancelation of this series has bummed out this Texas Christian fan, but I have braced myself to again face the latest episodes—now the last--to pull out my favorite quotations. 

~ ~ ~

Heather:  I need a Plus One to support a church charity?
Carlene:  Oh, Heather, darling, of course you can support our team.  Just not as one of us. . . . You let me know when your marital status changes and I’ll be more than happy to give you the [foam] finger.

[Love when the female reporter shuns Zach followed by Sharon asking him to hold her purse.]

Ripp [to Laura]: Now there’s no need to get political.  There’s still plenty for girls to do.  . . . Keeping us hydrated, now that’d be a blessing.

Amanda:  Really?  Nobody has any issue with this boys-only wienie rule? . . . It is sexist and it sends a completely wrong message to our daughters.

Carlene (praying):  Although there’s no way they [a Temple] can win a BBQ competition without pork. . . . Pray for Amanda.  Please give her grace in defeat.
Gigi:  Or victory.

Amanda:  Honey, that’s so sweet.  But we’re in Texas.  Here, BBQ means meat. . . . I know there’s a little Gloria Steinem in every woman.
Laura:  A glory who?
Amanda:  Which is exactly why we’re doing this. . . .
Gigi:  Back in my day, a feminist was a woman who avoided the kitchen like a plague.

[The Mason Massey intro scene with Cricket is wonderful.  As much as I love Blake, it does my heart good to see Cricket having the possibility of a real, two-way relationship.  Cricket’s more-feminine dresses, instead of suits, and the chemistry between her and Mason sparks up this meeting.  Plus I just like all the psychological warfare and the double entendres.]

Mason:  Caesar (stud horse) always satisfies.
Cricket:  You have a lot of confidence.  I have to admit, that intrigues me. . . .
Mason:  Obviously, you’re a woman who knows what she wants, and goes after it when she see it.  If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t be here. Would I?

Carlene:  You may have forgot while living in a Blue State, that men and women play different roles, Amanda.  The Bible makes that abundantly clear. . . . In a godly marriage, there is no His or Hers, only We.

[This scene with Zach and Sharon, in which she is more dominant/making more money, is illuminating on the confidence a well-suited job can exude from a happy woman.  Plus it sets up a later scene nicely.]
Sharon:  If you want publicity, you take out an ad with the Dallas Morning News.  . . . I don’t care how it looks to the guys.  How about how it looks to your wife?  We can’t afford it.

Gigi:  I’m the last one to give cooking advice, but should there be that much smoke?
Amanda:  That’s why they call it a smoker, Mother.

Amanda:  You get to taste my brisket.
Luke:  Do I have to?
Amanda:  . . . I don’t need you to solve my problems.  I would rather fail than win with your help.
Luke:  . . . Oh, and you might want to check that out [walking off, back to smoker, then a burst of flame!].

Gigi:  There’s nothing I can do about Luke, but I could sic Tony and Roma on Carlene.  They already think she’s a chew toy.  [For the non-Texas readers, one point of clarity here.  Tony Roma's is a famous ribs/seafood/steak restaurant in Texas and elswhere.]

Cricket:  As you can see from my live cam, Caesar hasn’t swung his sword all day.
Mason:  . . . You didn’t have to get all glossy for me. . . . My daddy did business with Clint Caruth back in the day.  He didn’t have a kind word to say about that man.  Can’t be easy to be his daughter.
Cricket:  Might have been easier to be his son.
[Luv, luv, luv the vulnerable looks Cricket can pull off.  And the fact that she defends his first physical move toward her with a martial arts combo, yet he still closes in.]

Gigi:  A glass of bourbon and a low-cut top works better than truth serum on that man [Burl].

[Now we are deep in the woods, with Gigi and Amanda seeking the secret stash of the best wood to use when smoking a brisket—from a pecan tree on Pepper Creek—on Cricket’s land.  She has joined them, pointing her rifle their way.]
Cricket:  You’re in my thicket.  In the middle of the night.  I’m curious.  Why?
Amanda:  . . . And “ladies just don’t do that” isn’t the answer I want to give her [my daughter].  You have a daughter too.  Don’t you want her to grow up in a world where she can do whatever she wants?
Cricket [in a pensive moment, studying the pecan tree]:  Daddy Bo always did love this pecan tree.  [Which she blasts with one shot of her rifle, a huge branch falling to the ground by Gigi and Amanda.]

Carlene:  Just creating a little shortage.  If Amanda can’t get her hands on any prime Wangus, well . . .
Ripp:  Smart thinking, tenderloin. . . .
Carlene:  Three to one?  You voted against me?

Danny:  Hey, you.  Small world.
Heather:  A small world.  Nice try. Amanda said you found some brisket and you wouldn’t hand it over unless I came to pick it up.  [Gotta admire the confidence, imagination and spunk of this guy.]  Well, here I am, Danny. Where’s your Wangus? . . Guys resent women who make more money than they do.
Danny:  . . . We’re in an economic downturn right now.  And this is Texas.  People will stop buying houses before they give up their meat.  . . . Well, I’m sorry you dated a bunch of idiots before.  But all it takes is meeting one good guy.  Maybe that’s me. . . . ‘Cause girls who play with fire are hot.

[There are SO many great scenes in this one episode, but here, when Carlene makes entry into Gigi’s house via the doggie door has to be the best!  Then Tony and Roma corner Carlene in the pantry, so she overhears Amanda’s honest and emotional conversation with her Mother.  They are of course surprised when Carlene joins them in a hug.  Ha!]
Amanda:  I didn't just do this for her, Mama, I did it for me. . . . But what kind of example is that to set for Laura?  To let some man think for me, or take away my voice, or treat me like nothing more than some lap dog or some cute little kitten.
Gigi:  You are so much more than that.  Shh, shh, shh, shh.  Precious girl.
Amanda:  Carlene?

[Pan to the BBQ site and our first glimpse of the gals is awesome—walking through the brisket smoke, all in jeans, not the norm in this show.  And their shirts?  Read “Spicy Racks.”  The background music, “there’s a little bit of devil in her angel eyes” hits the spot.]
Amanda [with a snap of her fingers to her all-ladies BBQ team]:  Racks, let’s roll.

Heather:  His name is Danny, he is not rich, he doesn’t belong to the country club, he’s a butcher.  And if anyone has anything to say about it, I will take your internal temperature with this meat probe.
Cricket:  Don’t get me started on rich men.  They think they can get anything they want based on the size of their . . . wallet.
Carlene:  Money doesn’t matter.  Especially if you don’t get to choose what to do with it.
Amanda: And it’s no guarantee of happiness . . .
Gigi: Truth be, I’d rather have the man than the money.

[Here comes the wonderful scene with the drunk guy hitting on the girls.  Zach steps in.  Fists connect.  Zach goes down.  Sharon decks the drunk; he falls to the ground.  I love how this show plays with stereotypes and flip-flops them.  Touching scene between Sharon and Zach, with his new black eye.]
Sharon [to Zach]: We knocked that fool out together, as a team, because that’s what we do.  You are my hero. . . .
Richard Dillard:  To donate one of your cars today was a class act.  Sticking up for your little lady, even classier.

[Spicy Racks wins the BBQ competition!]
Cricket [with an arm pump]:  Take that, Daddy Bo!  [Still competing with her daddy, even though he's dead.]

Carlene: I’ve always supported you, Ripp.  How could you not support me? . . .
Ripp:  Kitten, the condos are staying in Mexico.
Carlene:  Why?
Ripp:  The Lord told me.
Carlene:  He spoke to you?  Like Daniel?  And Isaiah? . . . What did His voice sound like?  A cross between Billy Graham and Kris Kristofferson?

[Another great scene.  Cricket returns to her office to find Mason has settled in.  Sitting in her chair.  Feet on her desk.  Which she shoves aside to write him a check for stud fees.  He just stands, revolves—tightly—around her.]
Cricket:  Mr. Massey, I’m a married woman.
Mason:  Well, you don’t act like one.  You’ve never even mentioned your husband’s name.  And I never ever hear you say “we” when talking about your personal life.  In my experience, these are not exactly the signs of a healthy marriage.
Cricket:  My marriage works just fine.
Mason:  But is it everything you want it to be? [pause]  Look, I’m single.  And I’m discreet.
[The kiss that unhinges Cricket is priceless!]

Gigi [to Amanda]:  Well, I couldn’t be more proud.  And that hideous thing [the BBQ trophy] comes down first thing in the morning.

Luke [talking to Amanda by phone]:  Did anyone ever tell you you’re kinda sexy when you grovel?

~ ~ ~

I love these people.  I love watching them smile at each other, share respect among themselves and speak their truth. 

One more (final) episode to dissect for fave quotes.  So sad . . .

Denise Barker, author + freelance copy editor + blogger
Good Ole Boys, a love story at http://amzn.to/GoodOleBoys

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