Describing Characters in Novels

Writing techniques for novels have evolved over the centuries. "It was a dark and stormy night" was, in its heyday, a very acceptable opening. Yet, in my opinion, "Once upon a time" is a classic first line for fairy tales and probably will remain that way. So, keep in mind, some ideas regarding descriptions (of people, of places, of things) are more universal than others.

Note: There will always be exceptions. Some ingenious author will use "It was a dark and stormy night" with wild success. That's when it's great to know the "rules" well enough to break them so creatively as to make them work. This writing game is all about doing something new, unique, right?

Opening your book with paragraphs or pages of static description would not be acceptable to most readers nowadays, due to our seven-second-or-less attention spans and all the faster-paced multimedia available to us: streaming music/movies, computer games, Kindle books/games, the Internet as a learning resource or as a social site. And that's just what we can do quite alone with technology at our fingertips. Lots of competition, folks, for our downtime.

Maybe in the 1950s, before everyone had a newfangled TV in the house, you could get away with a slow-starting book, rambling on about too much info which can't be deemed all that important to the plot. For example, like describing every wildflower in the field behind a house which is only there long enough to burn down and start the fire inspector on his hunt for the arsonist.

Just recently I've stopped reading some novels. Unfinished. Removed them from my device. Gasp! Sacrilegious, right? But with my Kindle full of "new" books to choose from, and my limited free time, I should be selective. Plus reading those not-for-me stories violates one of my personal rules about not wasting time, mine or other people's. And I'm not just a reader; I'm also an author, looking for styles and techniques and tips from other authors' books that I can learn from, not to mention the copy editor side of me who loves to find those lines of taut construction which communicate with perfection. Oh, yeah, and I'm the Quote Queen too. So I'm delirious to read great lines, succinct pearls of wisdom on the human condition.

Thus, if the story doesn't grab me at the beginning, I'm pretty sure it won't once I'm deeper into the tale either. I know. Because I've read books all the way to The End that told me from page one how this tale was not to my liking. So I'm yielding to that wise inner voice now. Some authors have the "it" factor I'm looking for in my reading. And I can tell if I see it, feel it, on that first page, even if I can't define "it" for you (or me).

Now for my particular pet peeve: the police-blotter description of any character in a novel. I don't want to read about the main protagonist or even a one-off character as "six foot two, black hair, blue eyes, broad shoulders." First, it's hackneyed. Second, we're supposed to be imaginative authors, creative types. We can surely do better than that. Third, it only gets worse when more adjectives are added to this mix, as in "a lanky and dreamy six foot two, raven jet-black hair, unbelievably bluer-than-blue eyes, with strong broad shoulders that could protect her." Ugh. Can you say "purple prose"?

Besides, that "could protect her" angle irks me to no end. Especially when it's "overall" and not just at this very moment when fighting six against one is some lopsided odds. I'm looking for a strong female lead, not a wimpy woman who wants the man to take care of her in toto. That's a long-winded topic for another post ...

But the only time I think such police-blotter description is appropriate is, indeed, on a police blotter. If you're writing a detective novel, a crime series, etc., and the investigator picks up a file on a missing perp, then, and only then, is it okay to write—and for us, your readers, to read—"blond/brown, five ten, 180."

And the mirror description? Don't go there. It's been done. Too many times. It's far from being unique and original. I'd stop reading then for sure. And I wouldn't go back to finish that one either.

In fact, at present, I'm enjoying the internal descriptions of characters, completely void of any physical description at first. And any later clue to their outward appearance is maybe one telling detail, like, "He suspected, with her red hair, that she had a temper under that smile."

I'm loving that.

Plus, even in the books of old, with their purple-prose-enhanced police-blotter descriptions, I bet the mental image I had of the character was not even close to what the author imagined. Haven't you yearned to see that movie based on one of your favorite books only to be totally disappointed in the actor playing your beloved character in that story? So it's better to let the reader form his or her own impression of what these characters look like. No need for the storyteller to be heavy-handed in this area.

So, authors, give your readers room to imagine the outer person of someone who's too blunt or a con artist or not to be trusted or selfish or brave or adventurous or smart or awkward or flirty or childish or manipulative or a bully or standing on a street corner looking lost or bending to feed a stray dog or ... whatever.

For me, I'm going to give insight into who my character is first and foremost, then add later a physical descriptor or two, like what would be noticed above all about this person. And I like tells. We all have them. Surely they speak to some insecurity within us, right? Those psychological details add depths to our imaginary friends without us having to write more than that. Until later. When we reveal their secrets. Pretty cool, right?

"If your vocation isn’t a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers."

Denise Barker, Author, Blogger, Copy Editor
Books that Build Character(s)

amazon.com/author/denisebarker

http://denisebarkerauthor.blogspot.com/

http://bit.ly/DeniseBarkerBlog

http://bit.ly/AMAZONDeniseBarkerEbooks

http://bit.ly/BNDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/SMASHWORDSDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/KOBODeniseBarkerEBooks

What lies behind you and what lies in front of you pales in comparison to what lies inside of you. Ralph Waldo Emerson
When you give someone a book, you don’t give him just paper, ink, and glue.  You give him the possibility of a whole new life. Christopher Morley
The best inheritance you can leave your kids is an example of how to live a full and meaningful life. Dan Zadra

NaNoWriMo Tips: Writing Exercises

This is about what you like as a reader, which you may already incorporate in your novels. After all, we write what we love to read. We love certain genres as a reader and a creator both. But there's always room for improvement when we put imagination in print, right?

If your own writing makes you cry, laugh or erupt in goose bumps (at all the right spots, of course), then so will your intended audience. Therefore compose first to please yourself. Of that you can be sure. Of that, you have control over.

First, let me say this: PLAGIARISM IS NEVER ALLOWED. Don't get me started on this topic.

Second, take three of your favorite books. Those that you reread all the time, more than five times each. It would be best if it was from three different authors, or like Nora Roberts aka J. D. Robb, pick one of her romances and then one from her In Death series.

Choose the most memorable scenes and hand copy them word for word. A dynamic link occurs between the brain and the hand when you engage both, so bear with me here. When you take that first step, all manner of providence aids you.

Study them, both the big picture angle and the small. Does the author's printed page have a lot of white space or is it crammed full of text? Check out paragraph length. You are looking for pacing here. I particularly like a fast-moving book.

How about sentence length? A mix of long and short? You've seen the six basic human needs: certainty, variety, significance, love, growth, contribution. Incorporate variety in your prose, even to the number of words in your sentences. 

Remember those diagrams in English class where you had to identify every word in a sentence? Do it here just for those wondrous lines of word combinations where you think, I wish I had written that. This may reveal whether you focus more on the outward (actions/descriptions) or the inward (thoughts, introspections, mental dilemmas).

You may even want to see how long each of the chapters are, on average, for your fave authors. Attention span seems to be getting shorter and shorter, and our need for more info, more speed increasing. Take note of that.

Just study their style and discern any patterns. Ask yourself why you think it works for them? How could you apply it to your writing?

Decades ago I read about the highlighter technique and applied it to the first chapter of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged in a second paperback copy I bought specifically for this purpose. You take like five different colors, assign one for dialogue, narrative, description, internalizations, action, emotions, foreshadowing, humor, etc. Select what works for your genre.

Then mark up the story accordingly. I remember thinking she had a pretty good mix of all five in her first chapter. I'll have to look for it and confirm.

Regardless, I like very little description and I won't change that in my writing. I just hate the police blotter rendering of physical appearance (unless you are actually having your reader review a police intake form).

Still I need some. My tale employs people and places, and I need to share that with my reader. I give a bare-bones overview of my characters, but I really want my readers to conjure up somebody they like, instead of me being so exacting, so detail-oriented, that I portray their hated second grade teacher or an ex. That would be counterproductive.

Adverbs. I write a pretty clean first draft, but it is overrun with adverbs. Can't help those LY words creeping into my thoughts and showing up initially. My original text is a more creative version, with my internal editor gagged. But I can get rid of most useless adverbs--by using stronger verbs and concrete nouns--in the second go-round with a more critical review of my words.

Think of adverbs as flags. Making you choose better subjects and predicates.

Adjectives. Purple prose turns me off. But there is a way to hide those modifiers--put them after the noun they describe. For example: The slow, murky water of the winding river did not even reflect the sunlight. Traditional sentence structure, right? How about, instead, we do this: The river wound through the mountains, its water slow and murky and unreflective. Disguise some of your adjectives, mix up your sentence formation, try something new.

And you need not just use fiction for these exercises. I read Stephen King's On Writing recently and was wowed by how much detail and how many phrases the man could put in one sentence and not lose me. It was coherent. It was "plain" even. Just amazing. So even analyze a favorite How-To-Write book of yours that really spoke to you. Was the style conversational or instructional? Dry or witty? A mix of teaching and personal example?

Third, don't be an imitation of anyone else. Be the best you possible. These writing exercises are not to change your style, but to show you new ways to demonstrate your thoughts, some variations that improve clarity and may draw in your readers for a more emotional experience. Just assimilate some things that support your voice, elevate your writing--to where others are now saying, I wish I had written that.

Fourth, above all, communicate. Don't get so flowery your reader has to reread a sentence three times trying to figure it out. Don't use a five-syllable word your reader stumbles over and has to stop to look up in Webster's when a one- or two-syllable word  is concise and perfect for your use.

Fifth. Punctuation is critical. For example, commas can be your friend. Use a comma to denote a pause. Like I noted about Stephen King above, I really need to investigate his style with his long sentences and see why his commas worked. For he must have used a lot of pairs, to set apart his phrases, within each long sentence, from my memory. I'll have to check that out further.

Okay, guys. We are nearing November 1. Is your writing space set up for productivity? Clutter and dust strangle your creative side. See y'all soon online.

Denise Barker, author + blogger + copy editor

http://bit.ly/DeniseBarkerBlog

http://bit.ly/AMAZONDeniseBarkerEbooks

http://bit.ly/BNDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/SMASHWORDSDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/KOBODeniseBarkerEBooks