I have no cable, watch/listen to no news online, as it is rarely uplifting. Yet I still hear/read of the truly evil deeds that people commit. May God have mercy on that boy's soul. I'd rather not even pray for salvation for the likes of him, but God gives as we give. So I give mercy now. I hope my heart is in it eventually.
My ongoing prayers are for the family members dealing with such unspeakable, unreasonable, unfathomable loss. I cannot begin to imagine the height, the depth, the width, the permeability of that pain...
The Bible speaks of God saving our tears. There must be a reason why He does, other than the immediate release of endorphins here on Earth. Plus God tells us to speak of our trials, so we are mandated not to hold in emotions. I don't know what God will do with our bottled tears once we get to Heaven, or if He uses them beforehand for whatever purpose; we'll have to wait until then for all the answers.
db
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Please Send Up Prayers for Grant, J. J. Virgin's Son
I won't go into the details but J. J. Virgin's son Grant was very badly injured by a hit-and-run driver on Monday, surviving on miracles each step of the way. Please send up prayers for Grant.
I don't know J.J. personally, just from reading her health newsletter online. But, as a mother of a son, I feel for her fully.
And I've prayed.
Thank You, God, for being with J.J., Grant and the other family members always, but especially let them feel Your presence at a time like this.
Denise Barker
I don't know J.J. personally, just from reading her health newsletter online. But, as a mother of a son, I feel for her fully.
And I've prayed.
Thank You, God, for being with J.J., Grant and the other family members always, but especially let them feel Your presence at a time like this.
Denise Barker
Friday, September 7, 2012
Speaking of Writer's Block . . .
I've never had "writer's block" because I'm an author.
And here's the distinction in both my mind and as paraphrased from the words of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary: An author creates, like God (check out Webster's yourself). A writer . . . writes.
Think of the terms "ghostwriter, screenwriter, copywriter." All these wonderfully artistic souls are for hire in general. Not that they can't also be authors, but these three terms are strictly for when they are working under someone else's direction, writing around someone else's creation.
For ghostwriters, they take the idea from the source (the person who hired them) and carry it to fruition. For screenwriters, they usually take a novel (again, someone else's baby) and reduce it to a 120-page script for the big screen. For copywriters, they are instructed (by their employers) to write ads for their customers, for instance.
Okay, the previous spotlighted generalities. This paragraph deals with specifics. You could order me, a romsus author, to "write like Stephen King" and my brain would freeze. Same as if you commanded me to write about death in gory details or child porn or concentration camps. First, not my genres. Second, even if you dictated that I write in my own genre--now at this very instant--a romantic suspense short story about a prince and a barmaid, I'd be a petrified, brain-dead, wordless individual.
Because I don't write on demand.
Because I'm not paid by the hour or in flat fees per job.
Because I generate my own ideas.
Because I create from data I am constantly gathering with all six senses (yes, I'm counting intuition).
Now granted, I could write something if forced and it would probably read that way . . . forced. Lifeless. No emotion. Because it didn't have the verve of a story idea that I cultivated and picked myself.
Thus, if I don't happen to be creating at the moment, I don't call it "writer's block." I call it gathering info, letting things marinate, allowing thoughts to percolate a while longer. Research.
So, be careful what you name things.
Take Abram in the Bible for instance. When God wanted to change Abram's destiny, he changed his name, WHAT HE WAS CALLED. That is why we know him better as Abraham. God changed his wife's name, too. Sarai became Sarah for the very same reason.
Beware what you call things.
So if you think you are experiencing "writer's block," ask yourself these questions:
And here's the distinction in both my mind and as paraphrased from the words of Merriam-Webster's Collegiate Dictionary: An author creates, like God (check out Webster's yourself). A writer . . . writes.
Think of the terms "ghostwriter, screenwriter, copywriter." All these wonderfully artistic souls are for hire in general. Not that they can't also be authors, but these three terms are strictly for when they are working under someone else's direction, writing around someone else's creation.
For ghostwriters, they take the idea from the source (the person who hired them) and carry it to fruition. For screenwriters, they usually take a novel (again, someone else's baby) and reduce it to a 120-page script for the big screen. For copywriters, they are instructed (by their employers) to write ads for their customers, for instance.
Okay, the previous spotlighted generalities. This paragraph deals with specifics. You could order me, a romsus author, to "write like Stephen King" and my brain would freeze. Same as if you commanded me to write about death in gory details or child porn or concentration camps. First, not my genres. Second, even if you dictated that I write in my own genre--now at this very instant--a romantic suspense short story about a prince and a barmaid, I'd be a petrified, brain-dead, wordless individual.
Because I don't write on demand.
Because I'm not paid by the hour or in flat fees per job.
Because I generate my own ideas.
Because I create from data I am constantly gathering with all six senses (yes, I'm counting intuition).
Now granted, I could write something if forced and it would probably read that way . . . forced. Lifeless. No emotion. Because it didn't have the verve of a story idea that I cultivated and picked myself.
Thus, if I don't happen to be creating at the moment, I don't call it "writer's block." I call it gathering info, letting things marinate, allowing thoughts to percolate a while longer. Research.
So, be careful what you name things.
Take Abram in the Bible for instance. When God wanted to change Abram's destiny, he changed his name, WHAT HE WAS CALLED. That is why we know him better as Abraham. God changed his wife's name, too. Sarai became Sarah for the very same reason.
Beware what you call things.
So if you think you are experiencing "writer's block," ask yourself these questions:
- Am I working with a subject or theme or premise I chose myself, which I love, that inspires something in me, whether enthusiasm and goodwill or rage about wrongs to be righted or something in between?
- Am I on the wrong side of the writer-author line? Like me, I work better solo, in full control, as an author. While I could function in the write-about-this role, I would not be happy and my creative genes would go on strike.
- Am I affixing a derogatory label (writer's block) when I really need downtime, some influx of new data/scenery and my mind-body-soul are just working off that bad input?
- Change "can't/won't/no" to "choose not to/maybe later/not now as I've decided to do something more important." Watch for those automatic responses we all tend to replicate.
- Stop saying "I have writer's block" and that may cure a lot of ills--ha!
- Am I working by formula instead of being moved by emotions?
Denise Barker, author + blogger + copy
editor
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Regina Brett's List of Forty-five of Life's Best Lessons (and Five to Grow on)
Here's Regina Brett's link for her column in The Plain Dealer: http://blog.cleveland.com/pdextra/2007/09/regina_bretts_45_life_lessons.html
And here is a duplicate in its entirety.
* * *
Published: Thursday, September 20, 2007, 2:03 PM Updated: Wednesday, October 28, 2009, 9:49 AM
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
Thank you to Regina Brett for
writing such an insightful ode to life. As a columnist for The Plain Dealer, you can see more of her writings there.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
. . . Like You Are On Vacation
I just revised my blog header to include a new quote by me, which incidentally is now the closing line before my email signature. "If your vocation isn't a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers."
Since I work at home a lot, I tend to just "throw something on"--if cool outside, something to keep me warm; if warm outside, something to keep me cool. Utilitarian. Practical. Yet . . . why can't I dress like I'm on vacation? Wearing those things that bring me joy, make me feel great, cause me to smile and inspire me?
Like I would on vacation.
Why do we save stuff for later? Save stuff for company? Save stuff for special occasions? We should dress everyday like we are on vacation. Wearing the best of the best our wardrobes offer.
Do not run to the nearest mall. Unless you have excess cash. Just go shopping in your own closet; go treasure hunting in your own armoire.
Take that mind-set another step further. Why can't our residence--in my case, my one and only--be our vacation home? I subscribe to FLYLady.net and she posts occasionally this great email she received from one of her members. It was about this wonderful bed-and-breakfast she stayed at.
Come to find out, it was her home. All organized, decluttered, using her best linens, her wedding china, etc. Isn't that happiness personified? That's what I aspire to. The decluttering part will take me a while as I am a pack rat when it comes to information. Data. I save it in bankers boxes. Many bankers boxes. It's fuel for my writing.
I have travel tips for various European nations. I have pictures of homes, people, cars--all in want of a story to be told. Of course, I collect quotations and favorite Bible verses and recipes. It's all very important to me. And it entails time to read through what I've amassed to find the nugget therein.
As per FLYLady, I'll do it fifteen minutes at a time (hopefully twice daily as she recommends). Her website is in my sidebar under Favorite Links.
Getting back on my main theme here, let's continue with this vacation thinking. Specifically: Money. On a vacation, do you worry about paying your rent, your mortgage? You probably did that beforehand, calculating whether the old budget could handle this trip and still meet that major obligation.
So, I figure for a vacation to be a true vacation, you aren't worrying about the monthly bills. You are focused on TODAY. What to eat with joy and abandon TODAY. No nagging thoughts about calories or counting carbs. Well, maybe a few in the mental background.
Still, we set aside pesky internal monologues about bills, calories, and vow to live in the now, in the present, in the TODAY. Shouldn't we do that even when NOT on vacation? Before you correct me, yes, we should prevent disease by eating healthier and we should prepare for our future. However, I didn't say "worry" about our future.
For example, we plant a garden, go on about our other business, reap later. We don't worry incessantly about whether a seed really will produce a plant. Granted, I didn't get the green thumb in my family so there have been two attempts at a garden that failed for me, but . . . if you are the same way, think of another analogy here.
Haven't we all worried for days only to have our problem "solved" in a blink later, or avoided altogether? We wasted all those hours for what? Stop it now.
While you live "like on vacation," you (1) appreciate more, whether the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the place you inhabit, the outdoors, the weather, etc. and (2) worry less, being more present, which is another form of both gratitude and joy and (3) smile more which makes you happier and is contagious to those around you. Sounds pretty grand to me.
Do you have healthy loved ones; are you healthy and loved?
Consider yourself uber prosperous--because you are.
Do you have food, clothing and shelter for today?
Consider yourself wealthy--because you are.
Do you have enough money for just this twenty-four-hour period?
Consider yourself rich--because you are.
Do you need something tomorrow? Pray. "...yet you do not have because you do not ask." James 4:2. Ask of God. Ask of your family. Ask what you can do yourself.
Continuing on, do you feel like you are on vacation when you are at work? I hear the collective groan. However, I see a few grinning souls too. Like my new header reads, "If your vocation isn't a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers." God didn't create us to be unhappy. God didn't spend all this time surrounding us with intricate beauty for us to be sad. God didn't fill our lives with blessings for us to be depressed.
Have you ever stopped to inspect a butterfly? I mean really look at all the magnificent artwork that went into decorating a butterfly's wings? What about a lily? Its stamen, its freckles, its tipped petals? It is said a butterfly lives only like three days. Yet God went to all the trouble to paint multitudes of different butterflies just so we may see at least one fly by during our day. Are you even noticing them? How regrettable to have missed that opportunity.
Back to your job. If it isn't fun, if it doesn't feed your soul, if you don't begin your day thinking about the great stuff you have awaiting your talents--before you even get up out of bed--then you, my friend, need new employment.
I know, we have to pay bills. Maybe we should think more about that before we incur them. Keep that old car, don't buy a new one. Look for a roommate. Reduce the monthly expenses we do have so we can take a better job that pays less. You'll be so much happier for it.
Live each day . . . like you are on vacation.
Since I work at home a lot, I tend to just "throw something on"--if cool outside, something to keep me warm; if warm outside, something to keep me cool. Utilitarian. Practical. Yet . . . why can't I dress like I'm on vacation? Wearing those things that bring me joy, make me feel great, cause me to smile and inspire me?
Like I would on vacation.
Why do we save stuff for later? Save stuff for company? Save stuff for special occasions? We should dress everyday like we are on vacation. Wearing the best of the best our wardrobes offer.
Do not run to the nearest mall. Unless you have excess cash. Just go shopping in your own closet; go treasure hunting in your own armoire.
Take that mind-set another step further. Why can't our residence--in my case, my one and only--be our vacation home? I subscribe to FLYLady.net and she posts occasionally this great email she received from one of her members. It was about this wonderful bed-and-breakfast she stayed at.
Come to find out, it was her home. All organized, decluttered, using her best linens, her wedding china, etc. Isn't that happiness personified? That's what I aspire to. The decluttering part will take me a while as I am a pack rat when it comes to information. Data. I save it in bankers boxes. Many bankers boxes. It's fuel for my writing.
I have travel tips for various European nations. I have pictures of homes, people, cars--all in want of a story to be told. Of course, I collect quotations and favorite Bible verses and recipes. It's all very important to me. And it entails time to read through what I've amassed to find the nugget therein.
As per FLYLady, I'll do it fifteen minutes at a time (hopefully twice daily as she recommends). Her website is in my sidebar under Favorite Links.
Getting back on my main theme here, let's continue with this vacation thinking. Specifically: Money. On a vacation, do you worry about paying your rent, your mortgage? You probably did that beforehand, calculating whether the old budget could handle this trip and still meet that major obligation.
So, I figure for a vacation to be a true vacation, you aren't worrying about the monthly bills. You are focused on TODAY. What to eat with joy and abandon TODAY. No nagging thoughts about calories or counting carbs. Well, maybe a few in the mental background.
Still, we set aside pesky internal monologues about bills, calories, and vow to live in the now, in the present, in the TODAY. Shouldn't we do that even when NOT on vacation? Before you correct me, yes, we should prevent disease by eating healthier and we should prepare for our future. However, I didn't say "worry" about our future.
For example, we plant a garden, go on about our other business, reap later. We don't worry incessantly about whether a seed really will produce a plant. Granted, I didn't get the green thumb in my family so there have been two attempts at a garden that failed for me, but . . . if you are the same way, think of another analogy here.
Haven't we all worried for days only to have our problem "solved" in a blink later, or avoided altogether? We wasted all those hours for what? Stop it now.
While you live "like on vacation," you (1) appreciate more, whether the food you eat, the clothes you wear, the place you inhabit, the outdoors, the weather, etc. and (2) worry less, being more present, which is another form of both gratitude and joy and (3) smile more which makes you happier and is contagious to those around you. Sounds pretty grand to me.
Do you have healthy loved ones; are you healthy and loved?
Consider yourself uber prosperous--because you are.
Do you have food, clothing and shelter for today?
Consider yourself wealthy--because you are.
Do you have enough money for just this twenty-four-hour period?
Consider yourself rich--because you are.
Do you need something tomorrow? Pray. "...yet you do not have because you do not ask." James 4:2. Ask of God. Ask of your family. Ask what you can do yourself.
Continuing on, do you feel like you are on vacation when you are at work? I hear the collective groan. However, I see a few grinning souls too. Like my new header reads, "If your vocation isn't a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers." God didn't create us to be unhappy. God didn't spend all this time surrounding us with intricate beauty for us to be sad. God didn't fill our lives with blessings for us to be depressed.
Have you ever stopped to inspect a butterfly? I mean really look at all the magnificent artwork that went into decorating a butterfly's wings? What about a lily? Its stamen, its freckles, its tipped petals? It is said a butterfly lives only like three days. Yet God went to all the trouble to paint multitudes of different butterflies just so we may see at least one fly by during our day. Are you even noticing them? How regrettable to have missed that opportunity.
Back to your job. If it isn't fun, if it doesn't feed your soul, if you don't begin your day thinking about the great stuff you have awaiting your talents--before you even get up out of bed--then you, my friend, need new employment.
I know, we have to pay bills. Maybe we should think more about that before we incur them. Keep that old car, don't buy a new one. Look for a roommate. Reduce the monthly expenses we do have so we can take a better job that pays less. You'll be so much happier for it.
Live each day . . . like you are on vacation.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Three-Hundred-Five Days and Counting
It has been 305 days since I uploaded my first e-book on Amazon, the one that started this Indie-publishing dream for me. And it has been forty days since I launched my sixth e-book (with way more coming) to Amazon. I am happy with my progress so far, during this initial year, placing half a dozen e-books into the ether known as Amazon. Five of them within B&N's PubIt! system. My debut novel, Good Ole Boys, remains exclusive to Amazon until mid-March, which accounts for the difference in my offerings between the two sites.
Because this is fun, those 305 days do not seem that long. Yet it has been in a way when you consider it is just sixty days shy of one year. I feel sorry for those unhappy people tied to a job they absolutely hate, where they are unappreciated and locked into a seemingly never-ending cycle of dread and drudgery. It takes some confidence and a truly inspiring dream to break out of those chains but, oh, how it is worth it when you find where you truly belong.
Doing without a steady paycheck--expecting one every first and fifteenth of the month--still takes some imaginative solutions at times. One month I may juggle bills. In the longer term, I may seek a McJob. Currently I am between those "day job" happenings or even having that monthly shuffle technique. This is my "sweet spot."
And I wouldn't change my new career and the new life that came with it. I don't know if I can count it toward growing up or older or just being wiser or, my personal favorite, being where I am meant to be, but I worry so much less now than when I made a consistent salary three times that which I presently live on. Not to mention how utterly, joyfully, happily ecstatic I am operating in total freedom to do what I love and get paid for it. After all, I spent all those early years enjoying my writing attempts without being paid one shiny new penny.
Until mid-2011, as I became a paid author. Or back in mid-2008, when I became a paid freelance copy editor. Both I count as miraculous dreams-come-true for me.
Reminding myself I have enough money for today is truly comforting and puts me in the present with the right mind-set. Plus, I know for each day I stand firm, I am one day closer to that elusive "overnight success."
FYI: Avoid those living-in-the-past moments as it is usually accompanied with regret or only-if thinking or otherwise somewhat hopeless in that things today cannot be as great as the "good old days." Stop that negative thinking now! And if you are just wishing, daydreaming about your future, and not putting some action behind it, well, you might as well be watching TV or a movie and enjoying someone else's life for an hour or two. For you are seeking a temporary escape not a life-altering change.
Among the otherwise sage nuggets Daddy often shares, one thing he told me that I found to be particularly wrong for me was, "Don't burn your bridges." The opposite is my truth. When you are driven, really consumed by an idyllic life-in-the-making, no matter how irrational or long-term, burn those bridges. Step out, take some calculated risks--and your responsibility for their resulting consequences--daily accruing whatever actions, both small and larger, toward that ultimate goal. It shows your faith. It confirms your forward momentum. It speaks to the Universe (my God) and sets those unseen forces in motion with us.
Don't discount what you cannot see . . . .
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Additional Thoughts re "I AM"
Thinking about yesterday’s blog made me remember two items I would like to add.
One, the Bible. I seek answers from a multitude of sources. Yet the Bible remains my personal ken on life. In fact, when I read most self-help books, I can match up many, many, many of their foundational messages to a paraphrase of a verse in the Good Book. It remains a resource for me, a benchmark, the raised bar to reach for.
Two, the “I am” statements. I wanted to clarify that you may speak your “I am” statements LONG BEFORE anyone else “sees” them in this current reality of space and time. Take me for example. I am an author. Prior to March 27, 2011, you would not have found any online e-books or print paperbacks bearing my name. Yet years before that I was creating tales of fiction. While my first remembered piece was a short, short mystery written as a homework assignment in seventh grade and I have written some other pieces since then, I first called myself an author about ten or twelve years ago. I had submitted a finished short story to a contest. I did not win. Nevertheless, that was a major event in my life.
Even so, my actual career shift and serious writing mode began years later in 2007 where I penned eight works-in-progress totaling over 350,000 words by October 2008. Only in 2011 did I later add my (currently) three nonfiction works. I continue to manifest new novels and self-help checklists as we speak.
Everything is created twice: first in the mind, then in physical form. That dressmaker’s pattern, that architect’s blueprint, that city planner’s projected new highway—all of them were "secrets" hidden away in your gray matter first, then a two-dimensional or 3-D model or pattern to go by that a few people were privy to before existing in the very public arena of reality. In that same way, I would suggest keeping your goals to yourself at first while you are incubating that new idea and then expose it only to a select few of the supportive people you know who maintain positive can-do outlooks. Then once it is a fait accompli, you can share your successful finished creation to the public.
So, keep in mind you must initially decide who you are, state your "I am" as your first step to becoming the new improved you and continue to act on that declaration. All that foundational work is unseen by onlookers. Like the roots of a plant are developed first before the blossom and fruit. Thereafter, once you are reaping the harvest from the thoughts and idea "seeds" you have planted, enabling you to grow into the fullness of your declared “I AM,” then other people will see it too. Don’t feel like a fraud for deeming it so initially.
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