Six Inspirational Lines to Guide You in 2017

I've been going through one of my several banker's boxes full of paper data.  Yes, I keep paper backups despite the Internet. It must be an author thing. Anyway today's box is labeled Goals, and I've enjoyed reading old resolutions from years past and was also surprised at how much I've accomplished over the years.

But this post is to share some great insights I found.

1. The real definition of "failure" is not being true to yourself and your dreams.

2. The real definition of "wealth" is finding where you belong.

3. The real definition of "fear" is the energy to do your best in a new situation.

4. Stop saying you don't have enough time. You simply need to prioritize your time to meet your biggest goal(s).

5. Stop saying you don't have enough money. You simply need to get creative and work smarter. Ask yourself: What do I have here with me or at home or in the car that could help me with this?

6. Anytime you hit the end of the road, you're lacking an idea, not money, not time, not mentorship. Think outside the box.

Amen!

I'm sorry that my handwritten notations did not give the source for these gems. My apologies to the creative minds who gave us this wisdom, but we can learn and apply them regardless.

Go forth and embrace failure and find your wealth.

"If your vocation isn’t a vacation, then quit, leap, change careers."

Denise Barker, Author, Blogger, Copy Editor
Books that Build Character(s)

http://bit.ly/AMAZONDeniseBarkerEbooks

Do. NOT. Quit. Be Evidence to Inspire Others

I love Barbara Conelli's blog. She's a wonderful travel writer who transports me to Italy with just one sentence. But she's more than that. She's a very wise woman. Read her inspiring post about not quitting.

I wish I had written that.

And even though the title states this article is for authors/writers, it is for all of us with a dream. Be the first person to break the four-minute mile in your niche. Show everybody it CAN be done. Enjoy.

Here's the link:

http://barbaraconelliblog.com/2012/09/19/travel-writers-diary-the-three-most-important-words-every-writer-must-know/

Denise Barker, author + blogger + copy editor

http://bit.ly/DeniseBarkerBlog

http://bit.ly/AMAZONDeniseBarkerEbooks

http://bit.ly/BNDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/SMASHWORDSDeniseBarkerEBooks

http://bit.ly/KOBODeniseBarkerEBooks

You Are Your Greatest Asset

You are your greatest asset.  I love that quote, courtesy of Logan Marshall's article for Write to Done:  Unmissable Articles on Writing entitled "Instant Flow:  How to Train Yourself to Think Creatively."  Here's the link:

http://writetodone.com/2012/04/10/instant-flow-how-to-train-yourself-to-think-creatively/

All the wonderful things I love about Logan's article include:

• Notice the word "train" in the title?  Yes, authors should train like an athlete.  Our mind, body and soul are connected.  We need to see to the health of all to be fully in creative mode.  Plus haven't you heard the definition of stress/worry as putting your mind and your heart at war?  Internal peace is when our mind, body and soul are in agreement.
• My new mantra is:  I am my greatest asset.  We should never lose sight of that fact.  Check the Bible:  we are fearfully and wonderfully made in the very image of God.  Check with any scientist:  we are the greatest machine ever created.  We are worth billions when you break us down to our individual parts; just the minerals in our body alone make us priceless.
• I would alter his first two steps, running and meditation, to fit my personal lifestyle and comfort level.  It would become fast walking and prayerful introspection.  Just my own take on his wise words.
• His point three:  Eat clean, healthy foods.  Amen.  Let our food be our medicine and medicine our food.  I believe foods as God made them trumps anything man-made every time.  I'd go fully organic if I could.  In the meantime, I eat from the perimeter of the grocery story, where foods don't have "Ingredients" lists with multiple entries and mostly chemical-sounding names.  A banana is a banana.  I buy beef roasts, whole chickens, eggs, bacon, strawberries, roma tomatoes, avocados, etc.  
• His point four:  Super hydrate.  The first symptom of dehydration is sometimes confused as hunger.  You are really down a quart when you have a dry mouth and are craving water.  If you've gone so far as to have a sick-to-your-stomach feeling, you are one step away from a ride in an emergency vehicle.  I once had an ND tell me to drink reverse osmosis water.  I choose for me, personally, to go with spring water--naturally from the earth as God intended, complete with minerals.  Remember the therapeutic value of soaking in a natural hot spring?  Because of all the body-healing minerals it contains?  I think drinking the cooled equivalent does a body good, IMO.  In the two to three years since I've been going this route, my normally freckled skin is much less so.  Nice!
• His point five:  Get enough sleep.  I so agree.  For decades I awoke by a dreaded alarm clock.  Hated it.  And for decades wasn't getting what my body wanted--eight full hours of sleep.

The only item I would add to his great plan is to go to bed each night thinking about the most efficient and productive and goal-rendering use of your time for tomorrow.  What two things do I really need to tend to?  Wait for the response.  If you have any snags still pending and thwarting you, ask God for the answer while you sleep.  It works for me.

I'm one of those authors who ponders my new novel in my head for a length of time.  It could be two days.  It could be over two months.  It could be remembering an idea I had in my twenties, wrote into a short story back then and have since lost, but the concept resurfaced.  Maybe I'm to write it now.

So my before-bed activity of planning and seeking is a no-brainer for me.

It is said that all our answers are within.  Any wisdom we may need resides inside us.

There's an old myth told about the gods wanting to hide treasure from God's favorites, his people.  After all, God favors us to his angels, to his animals, to everything else He created.  So the gods sought for a place to hide away this source from God's pet humans.

"In the sky?" one suggested.

"No they will go to the moon and beyond and will find it," another explained.  "How about in the sea?"

"No, their curiosity will have them delving deep into the waters," a third countered.

"What about burying it in the mountains?" a fourth proposed.

"The gold and silver will lure them there," a fifth argued.

There was a long pause as the little gods pondered this.

Finally one spoke up.  "What if we hide it within them--in their heart, their soul, their minds?"

One by one, the other false gods nodded.

"Done," they agreed unanimously.

Worth a bit of time to check it out, huh?

Good luck, athletes!

And don't forget:  YOU ARE YOUR GREATEST ASSET.

Three-Hundred-Five Days and Counting

It has been 305 days since I uploaded my first e-book on Amazon, the one that started this Indie-publishing dream for me.  And it has been forty days since I launched my sixth e-book (with way more coming) to Amazon.  I am happy with my progress so far, during this initial year, placing half a dozen e-books into the ether known as Amazon.  Five of them within B&N's PubIt! system.  My debut novel, Good Ole Boys, remains exclusive to Amazon until mid-March, which accounts for the difference in my offerings between the two sites.

Because this is fun, those 305 days do not seem that long.  Yet it has been in a way when you consider it is just sixty days shy of one year.  I feel sorry for those unhappy people tied to a job they absolutely hate, where they are unappreciated and locked into a seemingly never-ending cycle of dread and drudgery.  It takes some confidence and a truly inspiring dream to break out of those chains but, oh, how it is worth it when you find where you truly belong. 

Doing without a steady paycheck--expecting one every first and fifteenth of the month--still takes some imaginative solutions at times.  One month I may juggle bills.  In the longer term, I may seek a McJob.  Currently I am between those "day job" happenings or even having that monthly shuffle technique.  This is my "sweet spot."

And I wouldn't change my new career and the new life that came with it.  I don't know if I can count it toward growing up or older or just being wiser or, my personal favorite, being where I am meant to be, but I worry so much less now than when I made a consistent salary three times that which I presently live on.  Not to mention how utterly, joyfully, happily ecstatic I am operating in total freedom to do what I love and get paid for it.  After all, I spent all those early years enjoying my writing attempts without being paid one shiny new penny.

Until mid-2011, as I became a paid author.  Or back in mid-2008, when I became a paid freelance copy editor.  Both I count as miraculous dreams-come-true for me.

Reminding myself I have enough money for today is truly comforting and puts me in the present with the right mind-set.  Plus, I know for each day I stand firm, I am one day closer to that elusive "overnight success."

FYI:  Avoid those living-in-the-past moments as it is usually accompanied with regret or only-if thinking or otherwise somewhat hopeless in that things today cannot be as great as the "good old days."  Stop that negative thinking now!  And if you are just wishing, daydreaming about your future, and not putting some action behind it, well, you might as well be watching TV or a movie and enjoying someone else's life for an hour or two.  For you are seeking a temporary escape not a life-altering change.

Among the otherwise sage nuggets Daddy often shares, one thing he told me that I found to be particularly wrong for me was, "Don't burn your bridges."  The opposite is my truth.  When you are driven, really consumed by an idyllic life-in-the-making, no matter how irrational or long-term, burn those bridges.  Step out, take some calculated risks--and your responsibility for their resulting consequences--daily accruing whatever actions, both small and larger, toward that ultimate goal.  It shows your faith.  It confirms your forward momentum.  It speaks to the Universe (my God) and sets those unseen forces in motion with us.  

Don't discount what you cannot see . . . .

We Are So Nosy . . . In a Good Way

I had a slow period in my freelancing due to the holidays and took advantage by reading two Nora Roberts books:  The Search (2010) and Chasing Fire (2011).  Both are her mainstream novels, combining suspense with romance.  Pure Nora Roberts.  Longer.  More subplots involved.

But what struck me from both was the "secret language" inherent therein.  The Search dealt with dog training for search and rescue efforts, while Chasing Fire involved fire jumping--those fearless firefighters that jump from planes to land right in the forest/snow/woodlands next to the flaming inferno.  So, obviously, each had its own terms relative to the distinctive profession.

It goes back to an earlier post where I mentioned the six basic needs for humans: 

1.  Certainty/Comfort zone
2.  Variety/Out-of-comfort zone
3.  Purpose
4.  Love/Belonging
5.  Self Growth
6.  Worldly Contribution

These specific language sets within careers, as illustrated in the two Nora Roberts's books noted above, help us fit in, feel like we belong.  Compare that to the secret club that we are not asked to join, and the secret handshake they will not share with us, and the secret rituals held in secret places at secret times, and we feel pretty left out, right?

Listen to any nurse talking to a doctor, and their verbal shorthand helps them communicate.  Plus shows us we don't understand the language they are privy to.  It isolates us.  We are the ones looking in, toward the inner circle.

Aside from careers, it is evidence of a sort within relationships, both the good and the bad.  We listen to the words shared, or the space where the words are withheld, added to the body language, and we determine our own reading of that couple. 

Which brings me to the title of this post.  We are all interested, inquisitive, individually.  Some more than others.  Still, I think it is human nature to investigate, to record, to research, to evaluate.  We want to improve our lives, those of our families, and we gauge how we are doing compared to others.  I'm not talking judgment here.  I'm talking about the search for happiness.  Knowing what we can have influences what we reach for, correct?

Seeing just two couples with a near-perfect working marriage would encourage a jaded person to believe, to hope, to dream.  I know it does for me.

Now, some people are downright nosy in an intrusive manner.  But the nosiness I am speaking of here is more of curiosity, that of a seeker of knowledge, wisdom, happiness.  Tied to a basic human need to belong.  To feel "at home" whether related to a person, place or thing (as in a job description). 

That is just one element of myriad others that makes for Nora Roberts's best-selling books.  She shares with us this behind-the-scenes look at these off-the-main-road careers.  Puts us in a new place (out of our own comfort zone in our actual lives), let's us do a test run (putting us in a virtual reality of this new variety of life), and gives us a nice ending where the bad guy is named and caught.  Plus love wins out (the security factor fed here with these last two items). 

The self-growth listed above is easily accommodated within a novel by the main character's arc--his or her growth to becoming a better person, having confronted their fears or bad memories, and dealt with them, head-on.

Their purpose is confirmed by their love of their job, even a harrowing one, further acknowledged by the very definite service they provide for others.  Here we've tapped two more basic human needs.  That belonging factor is echoed in the catch phrases inherent to these unique careers--like "shake and bake," which will forever take on a new, and still-body-shivering, connotation for me.

Yet I think it is great.  It piques our need to know, need to amass information, as we wander about in the hands and mind of this person immersed in this unusual job.  We try it on for size.  Then we can discard it later, or pursue it with lust in actuality.

I know after I read Chasing Fire, I was ashamed at how little physical enterprise is involved with my career of choice, being an author and copy editor, and vowed to add in structured exercise, now that my manual-labor day job is gone. 

After reading The Search, aside from being a little creeped out, I was reminded how much I love my animals.  And that love wins out again. 

So, as an author, I use that nosiness factor when writing a book for a reader.  I give them a glimpse into someone else's life--their career, love life, home life, hobbies, pets, etc.--to show them what we are all avid to know.  What is their life like behind closed doors?  Is that couple who is showy with affection in public still so at home?  What does that particular career entail?  More than the Occupational Handbook description--for we want details, much more details, the dish, the secrets you share with your best girlfriend.

Isn't that what an actor does as he readies for a part?  To be a fighter, s/he trains.  To be an athlete, s/he trains.  To be a pianist, s/he trains.  To be a bartender, s/he trains.  To be a model, s/he trains.  To be a sniper, s/he trains.  Just imagine the life of an actor.  Each gets to choose the project to work on.  And it is like trying on a job, to see if it fits.  Once the make-believe career is gone as the movie wraps up, then the actor decides whether to continue on with the skill(s) learned.

So can we, just by reading a book.

Do you find it mystical and magical and yet so sensible that our life's six basic needs are ALL mirrored in our favorite reading material?  What a wonderful career we authors share as we arrange assorted letters on a page among other such pages which has the possibility, the gift, of changing a person's life.

Those "What I Did Over the Summer" School Essays

I always dreaded those first-day-back-at-school assignments to write what I did over the summer.  It was the same.  We spent two weeks visiting both sets of grandparents in Kansas.  It was wonderful and I have great memories.  We also went to the pool to swim at home.  I visited nearby friends within walking distance.  When I got a little older, I babysat.  But all that paled to my schoolmates' tales of spending a month in France or camping in ten different states or sailing along the coast.

I'm all grown up now and when I run into someone I haven't seen in a while, it still gives me pause when asked "What have you been up to?"  I haven't found the cure for cancer; I haven't gone abroad with the Peace Corps; I haven't traveled to Mexico to build a church; I haven't helped rebuild a city ravaged by hurricane or tsunami.  I have donated funds which I hope found its way into each of those endeavors.  However, it just doesn't have the same zing as spending my time there, getting my hands dirty, making unused muscles sore.  And my donations were not one or two digits followed up by six zeros, either.

Writing my books does not reach the lofty goals I mentioned above.  But that's just it.  That's the point here.  When I run into an acquaintance I haven't seen in years, I can tell them "I'm an author, with three e-books on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble, plus I'm working on finalizing my debut novel.  I have eight more fiction books in the works, too."

Just do something a little outside your normal, day-in/day-out, staid, predictable routine.  Like adding miniscule spices and hard-to-see herbs to your food can make a huge difference, add some variety to each and every day.  It could be stopping on the way home and spending just ten minutes picking wild blueberries by the railroad tracks near your home.  Or taking a one-day powder-puff mechanics class that gives you the added skill of being able to change out your car's air filter.  It could be starting a conversation with someone in your yoga class, making a new friend, finding out more about their fascinating life.

Not only does this cause us to grow, both in confidence and in knowledge, but you took action.  Action begets more action like success begets more success.  Every day find one way to add some ingenuity to your schedule.  Drive a different way home.  Really survey your surroundings, searching for treasure not-yet-named.  Check out various parks in your area and see if any have hiking/biking trails.  Take them!

I cannot possibly list all the choices here.  My mind, time and responsibilities hinder me.  But just get your imagination on notice that you want to see things differently, see more choices.  Your life will blossom.

One more thing.  Yes, there will be someone who will cure cancer.  That person's success will be worldwide and affect a lot of people.  However, that does not mean the reasons for you being here, your goals to reach, are not needed either, or by as many people.  This blog is to instill self-esteem which I believe is a foundational building block, if not the foundational building block as self-esteem is just another way to say self-love without the egocentric connotations.  Self-esteem is needed by all.

So don't rank your success against someone else's.  They are all needed on this earth.  And because you help just one does not make your role in the universe less than someone who helps millions.  Like that story of the child throwing one starfish after another back in the water.  Someone pointed out to her how there were so many she couldn't help, so many she did not reach for, trying to discourage her from even doing what little she could.  Her reply?  I'm helping the one I throw back in the ocean.

And what a great concept.  I'm helping ONE.  If everybody helped just a single, solitary, sole individual, the whole world would benefit and be the better for it.  I happen to believe that I am the person I should help first, to better me.  That way I have a growing wealth of wisdom to dip from in order to assist another.  You are doing your part, in no small way, when you help just one.  Keep at it.

Also, please feel free to share your get-out-of-my-rut ideas with the rest of us.

The Three Bullies: Worry, Self-Doubt and Fear

Worry

 

I used to worry a lot.  Thankfully, none of those imaginings morphed into my life.  Unlike poor Job in the Bible to which all his fretting was visited upon his house and lands and holdings.  What I don’t understand about that story, though, is why his verbally abusive wife was allowed to torment him with her words during this horrible time in his life.  But that is for someone wiser to explain.

 

It seems I have taken my active imagination and siphoned it off for more creative purposes:  writing.  As in this blog, my nonfiction works as well as my novels.

 

I remember from among my readings that we are taught to address the “worst case scenario” with solutions, in order to ease our worries.  You might not like the answers, but it should erase some of the angst.  Like if you were to (God forbid) lose your job, you may have to live with your parents, or in-laws.  Maybe not the best arrangement for both sides, but doable, for a short while.  You could get a minimum wage job and ride your bike to work if need be (hopefully work is close to home!).  Granted, both are not your dream life in action, but each could get you there.

 

Insulate your life by following the sage words found in The Good Book at Phil. 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things (RSV).”

 

Although I am basically an optimist, I have perfected my outlook.  As we grow and age and gain perspective, I believe we let go of a lot of youth-oriented worry.  Worry, to me, is based on inexperience.  Worry is usually about what we do not yet know.  Like, Can I do that job they just offered me?  We may have been all bravado in the interview process but, now that we have won the fought-for position, our confidence can take a sharp dip.  Once you confront the monster (gain some hands-on knowledge), it usually leaves.  Like finally facing off that bully from the playground or school--or worse yet, the office or home.

Self-Doubt

 

Self-doubt is more insidious as we do it to ourselves, or allow others' beliefs to veto our own.  Self-doubt may remain hidden from us, too, and we all know it is impossible to fight an unknown assailant until we have more information.  This blog addresses self-respect, self-worth, self-awareness.  We must first know who we are, then I think our purpose becomes clear—or we are more confident to follow that innate yearning--and, with it, success follows.

 

I ran across this great quote that highlights my point in the foregoing paragraph.  Here it is from John Mason:  “You were born an original.  Don’t die a copy.”  Don’t follow the mainstream when making decisions about your life.  Instead, construct your life around your dreams.  That includes where you live, what you do to earn a living, who you marry, how you spend your time and your money.  You were meant to be different, unique, to offer the world what no one else can perform, produce or procreate. 

Fear

 

Fear is the worst in my opinion.  If we were to grade, somewhere between one and ten, the level of emotions attached to worry, self-doubt and fear, fear would top out the others.  It carries more dread with it, more weight.  Still, I am a firm believer that our dreams are wrapped in this formless (yet weak) fright element.  Tear through that wrapping, and you not only gain access to, but you also release, the desires of your heart.  WHAT they are, HOW to get them and eventually LIVING THEM.

 

To again quote from the RSV Bible, Ps. 23:6, I’ll close with this wonderful verse and blessing for us all:  “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life . . . .”  

 

All rights reserved.  Copyright 2011 Denise Barker dba Living the Dream Publishing

Wisdom Can Be Found Anywhere: Interesting Thoughts from Books and Movies

As a curious and studious seeker of wisdom and knowledge, I find evidence of both everywhere.  Plus I’m a movieholic so it is not surprising that I find pearls of universalisms in big screen productions.  One of my all-time favorite flicks is Sweet Home Alabama which has a great line that goes something like this:  You can have both roots and wings . . . .  I love that line.  Why do we have to choose between the two?  Why can’t we have both?  Why can’t we have it all?

These are not just kernels to create a novel from, although that is something I am likely to do.  However, learning in and of itself is useful.  It adds to our confidence level, can improve the quality of our lives and our world.  Who knows which one of us will assimilate a random collection of facts and come up with something new from that combination’s synergy? 

A new philosophy perhaps.  Ayn Rand did it with her books, novels Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead, not to mention her nonfiction works about objectivism.  How about a cancer cure or a new fuel supply?  What about something so basic like learning to understand and communicate effectively with the opposite sex, or just our siblings and other family members or even coworkers?

We each have such a unique fingerprint—and I’m not only talking about what is under our nails, but more of a soul print.  Something so vast and complex and special and whole, in and of itself, so as to not need 

repeating.  That describes every one of us.

For the record, when the Bible speaks of the beginning of wisdom is the fear of God and that we were fearfully and wonderfully made, I question the translation from the Hebrew that led to the usage of the word “fear” in both these instances.  I find “respect” would be a far better choice.  Regardless, that is my opinion and I’m off on a tangent here.

So back to my original thought:  finding gems to live by or, in the case of us creative types, some topic to paint, research, study or write about whether in a textbook or a paperback novel.  Can you guess where these paraphrased snippets or actual quotes came from?

-         …made everything beautiful for its own time.  [Note:  I particularly believe that this means you and me.  If we are alive in this time and era, we are beautiful as THIS is our time.]

-         Sex should only be delayed by mutual agreement of the married couple and only for the purpose of prayer.

-         A new husband shall take on no public responsibilities but shall instead stay home for one year to make his wife happy.

If you guessed that all three came from the Bible, you would be correct (Ecc. 3:11, I Cor. 7:5 and Deut. 24:5, respectively).  I share this for two reasons.  One, you never know where a good idea can come from, and can be put into praxis in your actual everyday living or in an imaginary work of art—or both.  Two, I think the Bible can scare people away from it sometimes and I want to illustrate that it is full of great stories, humor, poetry and all the possible human conflicts that we depict in movies and books.

So, here we are, roundabout to the beginning of this blog.    Revering the written words found in bookstores, libraries, schools, churches, homes--or resident in our minds until unleashed--as well as the works on film or DVD or Blu-ray or whatever new technology someone else is sure to invent.

Wisdom can be found anywhere . . . you just need to focus your sights on finding it.  And the addition of YOU may be all that is needed to create something amazing.